Karmic Curse Befalls Eugene Thief!

Thief is the pc term used for the bastard that stole my hanging skeleton Halloween decoration. Believe you me, the language was a little saltier when I discovered the crime. Stealing holiday decorations, as anyone knows is a first class ticket on the bad karma expressway, and if that alone were not enough, I put a pre-emptive curse on anyone that dare steal it as it was very cool and hard for punks to resist. The rope for instance was an old sisal barn rope with an authentic hangman's noose with the classic 7 coils that give it it's distinctive look. The other end was not just a loose, uncared for unraveling mess either, no, it was a work of beauty. Finished with a crown knot and lovingly backbraided into itself then secured with a sailmakers whipping. All of which is now hanging in some punks room no doubt. Being forced to listen to god awful skater punk music while he hangs with an unlit cigarrette in his mouth. Well one thing they can't steal is the good time Dylan and I had hanging him. Dylan on the fence animating him for the passing cars. Me tying a rock to the end and throwing it over the high branch, trying not to hit Dylan on the noggen on the way down and knocking him off said fence. No, they can't take that away and it was a good day! October 1st. The first day of the Halloween season, we were on it! We had the yard decorated before noon. Light years before the neighbors even thought of dusting off their Halloween decorations. Ok, its a little awkward being the only house on the street with decorations out, but this is my month! I wont let this bog me down, I'll distribute the above flyer via the telephone poles on our street. It will not only warn the perp of the curse, but give dog walkers something else to look at instead of the Missing Cat poster that has currently hogged the telephone pole messaging system for the past 3 months. If I don't get it back, I pity the poor soul who swiped him for the curse is one of great horror, the likes of which will not be forgotten anytime soon. For its a curse of small annoyances. Thats right, i.e, a tiny rock under the front wheel of the downhill bound skateboard, or the unanswered prayers of there being an extra roll of toilet paper behind the closed cabinet door, you get the idea.
I'll keep you all updated.