Eugene Man Driven to Brink of Insanity, Leaves Lunch Early

I have a pet peeve, and its a BIG ONE, so if your a gum chewing enthusiast, I suggest you leave and go to the Wriggley’s site and sit this one out.
I’m gonna lay it all out for you. Lay it on the line as they say. Here goes:
I eat my lunch and read afterwords, I choose not to further the Ozone depleting greenhouse gases or line an Oilmans pockets with cash any more than I absolutely have to, so I eat at work in the lunch room, my little part to save the world right? I clean up after myself, leave it nicer than when I found it etc. All I ask in return is a little peace in which to enjoy my hour. A pretty fair trade if you ask me. Well in the last week, one girl in particular has discovered how much she enjoys chewing gum and talking nonstop as she does it, thereby trapping little bubbles that she takes so much joy in popping after damn near every break in her otherwise nonstop yammering. Maybe she has always done this, its entirely possible that now that I’m aware of it, its ALL I hear. The following is a snippet of the typical conversation she is having: (which may seem one sided, but its not, nobody can get a word in edgewise.)
“What are you having for lunch” GIRL: Oh, I’m having a bowl of soup, (pop,pop) and its delicious, (pop, pop) you should (pop) try it (pop,pop), I (pop) made (pop, pop, pop) myself (pop) Pop pop pippity F’n Pop
I’m not even exaggerating (very much) By the time I realized that I’ve read the same page 3 times because I can’t concentrate, I got up and left early before I got a case of the temporary insanities and ended up on CNN.
This is nothing new to me. I have long wished that chewing gum would be looked upon in society in the same light as smoking crack or purse snatching from defenseless old ladies. But so far it would appear that I stand alone. Sure, its tasty, I have to give it that. Its benefits stop there as far as I’m concerned. I either have to hear it, accidentally brush against it stuck to the underside of a table, or clean it off my shoe or tire. I hate it. If and when I become leader of something, I will banish it from existence, I won’t have to pick up the little wrappers, or those tiny red ribbons employed to open the cursed pack, gone will be the chewed to death gum spit into the urinal that I have to avoid peeing on for fear of splash back and I will be able to have a conversation with whoever I want where as now I have to avoid them like a cockroach does light. I’m not sorry if your one of these offensive gum chewers either, in fact, I hope you get your feelers hurt and it encourages you to kick the habit, take up smoking if you need to, anything but forcing me to listen to, clean up after or avoid peeing on is good in my book.
I think this is as good a post as any to ask for your pet peeves, that’s right viewers, get in on the action, vent your frustration to literally tens of people who read this. It’ll make you feel good.