Fish Bowl 1, Mediocre Illusionist 0

I’ve really held my tongue regarding the self described “Master Illusionist” David “I suck” Blaine.
But no more, he is the biggest attention whore there is. Thinking up the most mundane uh...stunts I guess. How he can look himself in the mirror and claim to be an illusionist, much less a master illusionist is beyond me. Don’t you have to create an illusion in order to be an illusionist? How exactly is breathing air underwater in a big fish bowl an illusion? If that’s the case, I too am a certified “illusionist” having earned my divers license the old fashion way, without media coverage. And then to have the nerve to complain out loud that your own stupidity caused shooting pains in your muscles and liver damage! Good, stop doing lame stunts that nobody cares about while giving them dramatic names like ‘Drown Alive’! I have a stunt for him, light your self on fire and throw yourself off the nearest building, only don’t drag it out for a week. Not to mention he failed at his objective which was to hold his breath for 8 min. 58 seconds. His last stunt was equally as exciting as watching paint dry. Sitting in another fish tank, empty this time and not eating for 45 days. Hello, its called a hunger strike and people do it all over the world without an ace medical team close by to administer a cheeseburger if things get dicey. Maybe his next stunt will be something like working for a living, non-stop for one month!!! I can only assume he would fail at that as well. Why do people care about this loser? He can’t even make Niagara Falls disappear like Copperfield did, or do cool stuff without a safety net like Houdini did. The absolute worst thing that could’ve happened to this joker did happen, he got a side ache and divers went in to save his soggy self. I would have much more respect for him if he showed some conviction and drown like a man. This might seem like an excessively negative post, but its really not. I’m just sick to tears of guys like this doing nothing exciting but treating it like he cured cancer while submerged. How dumb does he think we are that with all that’s going on in the world, anyone would care about him and his lame stunt? Why not contribute to society? How about using that highly efficient body of yours to pick up trash from the roads and beaches, or scraping used gum off the highway, anything that is more useful than sitting submerged in a bubble for a week.