BUZZSAWblurredlr
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Time, The Immortal Buzzsaw
Another year has past at an even faster rate than the one prior.
I gave the passage of time some thought this past weekend while standing in the never ending rain and wind on our coast. Although chilly, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The immense power and overall hugeness of the ocean never fails to inspire awe and humility. Dylan and I sat on the rocks and watched enormous waves effortlessly toss about giant logs. Toss them up on the rocks only to yank them back into the frothy, churning soup a few waves later. Evidence of the elements breaking down the land were everywhere. Maybe they were more pronounced because the destruction was sitting on the man paved road that will one day be nothing but round shiny rocks picked up along a beach that isn’t there yet. Although Ma nature tears down, she also rebuilds and its a cycle that never ends. Things change, and often, these changes can’t be stopped. Instead of trying, we just sat and watched the beautiful pounding of the surf against the formidable rock. The rock slowly losing the fight and changing into the new beach.
Jim, Karen, Kim, Dylan and I had a great day. It was good to get away. Although a short trip, it felt like a long relaxing one for me. We made good use of our time. Saw a lot and ate some good food. Too much good food.
We also managed to stop by a tourist trap that for as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to stop. Its an old nautical museum type shop. This place is my kind of place. I loved it and was happy to have stopped, even though it burned up some extremely valuable daylight that I could have used on the drive back. But we made it home safe and sound anyway so I’m glad we took the time.
Our New year is shaping up to be pretty low key. Jim and Karen board the train back home tomorrow. They will be missed. We had a great visit and I’m sorry to see them go. Hopefully we’ll be seeing a lot more of them once Jim retires in 6 months. Maybe by then the housing market will have crashed and they can get a house that isn’t incredibly overpriced.
I don’t make New Years resolutions, I strive to change things and evolve as I feel the need. But if I were to make one, it would be to make more stops along the way instead of putting the things I want to experience on the back burner for another day.
So there it is. Oh and I plan on using my camera for more family pics than commercial ones. I looked back at my images from the past year and although we have a lot of family pictures, it was painfully obvious to me that I have dropped the ball in this department. Aside from those two resolutions, I’m not making any.
Happy New Year,
The End.
I gave the passage of time some thought this past weekend while standing in the never ending rain and wind on our coast. Although chilly, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The immense power and overall hugeness of the ocean never fails to inspire awe and humility. Dylan and I sat on the rocks and watched enormous waves effortlessly toss about giant logs. Toss them up on the rocks only to yank them back into the frothy, churning soup a few waves later. Evidence of the elements breaking down the land were everywhere. Maybe they were more pronounced because the destruction was sitting on the man paved road that will one day be nothing but round shiny rocks picked up along a beach that isn’t there yet. Although Ma nature tears down, she also rebuilds and its a cycle that never ends. Things change, and often, these changes can’t be stopped. Instead of trying, we just sat and watched the beautiful pounding of the surf against the formidable rock. The rock slowly losing the fight and changing into the new beach.
Jim, Karen, Kim, Dylan and I had a great day. It was good to get away. Although a short trip, it felt like a long relaxing one for me. We made good use of our time. Saw a lot and ate some good food. Too much good food.
We also managed to stop by a tourist trap that for as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to stop. Its an old nautical museum type shop. This place is my kind of place. I loved it and was happy to have stopped, even though it burned up some extremely valuable daylight that I could have used on the drive back. But we made it home safe and sound anyway so I’m glad we took the time.
Our New year is shaping up to be pretty low key. Jim and Karen board the train back home tomorrow. They will be missed. We had a great visit and I’m sorry to see them go. Hopefully we’ll be seeing a lot more of them once Jim retires in 6 months. Maybe by then the housing market will have crashed and they can get a house that isn’t incredibly overpriced.
I don’t make New Years resolutions, I strive to change things and evolve as I feel the need. But if I were to make one, it would be to make more stops along the way instead of putting the things I want to experience on the back burner for another day.
So there it is. Oh and I plan on using my camera for more family pics than commercial ones. I looked back at my images from the past year and although we have a lot of family pictures, it was painfully obvious to me that I have dropped the ball in this department. Aside from those two resolutions, I’m not making any.
Happy New Year,
The End.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Crusading Christmas Caroller Curtailed by Cold
Actually, I’m an anti-caroller but I needed a catchy title. (that’s right, the Ol’ bait and switch, oldest trick in the book) My ass is currently being kicked by a wickeder than normal cold, and I’ve had about all I can take. My wife, who gave it to me in the first place now has the nerve to blame me for getting her re-sick. It appears I’m never going to get rid of this thing....Never. And now, its conveniently turned into a sinus infection. I should be pretty cheery come Christmas morning!
Anyway, back to carolling. There is nothing more awkward than answering your door to a bunch of unknown people singing all off key while you have to stand there and endure it with a 100% fake smile of appreciation.
Kim seems to think its a nice gesture yet as soon as the doorbell rings, I’m left alone to suffer these obnoxious savages. And just as they're wrapping up the worst yet longest version of Jingle Bells ever belted in public, they ramp up into an even more annoying Noel. Three songs I had to stand on my porch and listen too, looking them in the eye from 5 feet away, my Christmas Spirit being sucked out of me faster with each verse. Not a soul around from my family to back me up. UGH. this was in Denver by the way and the roving pack of bad singers were my super religious neighbors and their 7 kids. All dress up like they should be at the church ice creme social, but accidentally knocked on my door instead.
The following year, I heard them singing at the poor bastards house next door so I quietly hid in the basement and ignored the doorbell. Kim apparently also heard them coming as I couldn’t find her or Dylan either. Fortunately they don’t feel so strongly about their intrusive tradition that they’ll just walk into your house and sing at you where your hiding, in my case, in the dark basement tucked in a cozy fetal position. I know its a nice gesture blah blah, I don’t like it. Back in the day it may have made sense, but back in the day I would have been just as introverted as I am now and would have thought the same thing. I have a fence around my house now, so I have options, either let the dogs out, or turn the hose on them. The fence buys me some time to weigh my options.
I hope everyone had a happy Winter Solstice!
Merry Christmas! (and happy holidays to all you in the PC crowd!)
Anyway, back to carolling. There is nothing more awkward than answering your door to a bunch of unknown people singing all off key while you have to stand there and endure it with a 100% fake smile of appreciation.
Kim seems to think its a nice gesture yet as soon as the doorbell rings, I’m left alone to suffer these obnoxious savages. And just as they're wrapping up the worst yet longest version of Jingle Bells ever belted in public, they ramp up into an even more annoying Noel. Three songs I had to stand on my porch and listen too, looking them in the eye from 5 feet away, my Christmas Spirit being sucked out of me faster with each verse. Not a soul around from my family to back me up. UGH. this was in Denver by the way and the roving pack of bad singers were my super religious neighbors and their 7 kids. All dress up like they should be at the church ice creme social, but accidentally knocked on my door instead.
The following year, I heard them singing at the poor bastards house next door so I quietly hid in the basement and ignored the doorbell. Kim apparently also heard them coming as I couldn’t find her or Dylan either. Fortunately they don’t feel so strongly about their intrusive tradition that they’ll just walk into your house and sing at you where your hiding, in my case, in the dark basement tucked in a cozy fetal position. I know its a nice gesture blah blah, I don’t like it. Back in the day it may have made sense, but back in the day I would have been just as introverted as I am now and would have thought the same thing. I have a fence around my house now, so I have options, either let the dogs out, or turn the hose on them. The fence buys me some time to weigh my options.
I hope everyone had a happy Winter Solstice!
Merry Christmas! (and happy holidays to all you in the PC crowd!)
Monday, December 12, 2005
One Beer Too Many
Well, the Holiday party season has arrived and I welcomed it in a way that I haven’t since my early 20’s. And I did it in grand style with 50 of my closest new friends. We started out the evening rushing around like crazy people trying to get ready for Kim’s annual office party. This was her first and we didn’t really know what to expect. Being somewhat shy and short on small talk, I struck out to the bar for my first of “ahem” several pints of social skills. After a little wax was re-introduced into my recently wax free system, I fell right in step with the crowd and began laughing and making fast friends. We had a great dinner, plenty of entertainment and some fine music. So fine, I’m told that I danced to it by myself as the party rolled on. I don’t consider myself much of a dancer in fact, quite the opposite but I felt especially smooth and coordinated that night and surly impressed Kim’s new coworkers with my kick ass rug cutting dance skills. In addition to my dancin’, I apparently hugged and then used as a crutch, some lady that I had never met. She’s a lucky gal though, I didn’t drag her to the coat rack to make out. My wife stuck by me and made sure that I didn’t do anything stupid... Oh wait... No as it turns out, she didn’t. I managed plenty of stupid things. Not the least of which was accepting the generous shots of tequila from my new found friends.
I stand by my belief that tequila is only a good idea when your too drunk to know otherwise. That stuff is pure evil.
By the end of the night, or party, (as my night/morning was just beginning) we headed home. From here on out, I have to rely on witnesses as I personally cannot recall a single damn event.
It would seem that we made it about a block before nausea came a knockin’ and I had to make a down payment on a full hangover as we stopped and waited for a train. I imagine this was a pretty neat thing for passing traffic to witness, but a deal with the devil is a deal and my payments were due. It would be the first of many in the next hour to come.
I get home, made it to the bathroom where at least I had a proper place do my dirty work. So comfy was the area in and around my toilet that I took a quick nap with my hand resting all cozy and uh, warm in the cat litter. My nap was indeed a quick one though. I awoke to Kim pounding on the door telling me to unlock it. (Apparently I didn’t want to embarrass myself with letting my wife see me like this, it made perfect sense at the time SO CAN IT!) She was still dressed beautifully in a gown and seemed pretty intent on my getting the hell out of the litter box and into bed. Normally I would be quick to answer that request, but with the elusive doorway constantly spinning just out of reach, I wasn’t able to get out without first falling into the damn wall which in my opinion shouldn’t have been constructed there in the first place. This just after she handed me a glass bowl with which to make future deposits should the need “come up”. She quickly revised her game plan upon seeing that I used up all my coordination on the dance floor and handed me a more sturdy metal bowl to take to bed. Not what I was hoping for, but even in my “fuzzy” state, I realized that my night for “swinging from the chandelier romance as the boy was at the baby-sitters all night” was about 4 beers and two shots to late. I crawled into bed and woke up to the alarm blasting a few hours later. Thanking god that it was Saturday and that I didn’t do this to myself on a school night. Kim on the other hand had to go to work. I ate some aspirin, crawled back into bed where I was fully planning to spend my entire day, or the next several, what ever it took not to feel like this beat up and broken, sore stomach havin’ pounding headed excuse for a carcass. At around whenever, I did get up and take a hot, hot shower, made some ginger tea hoping to stop the nausea, when that didn’t work, I got rid of it the old fashioned way, by literally getting rid of it, back to the toilet for me. From there I walk to the Hubbard’s who’s house Dylan is staying, to check on him. The Hubbards by the way are the son and daughter in law of the owner of the company who’s party was responsible for my current condition and by the time I made it over there, my antics had preceded me. After checking on Jr and explaining my condition and the evils of drinkin’, Karen told me he can stay a while longer. I greet this news with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, then head back home where I hold the couch down for the next couple hours. I did manage to eat and keep it down. I started to feel a little better, and then a lot better by the end of dinner. Thank god!
That my friends is as good a reason for moderation as there ever was one.
Sunday rolled around and I was a 110% better, a new man.
Whew! Glad that is over, I’d like to say I learned from it. But I won’t make any promises
I stand by my belief that tequila is only a good idea when your too drunk to know otherwise. That stuff is pure evil.
By the end of the night, or party, (as my night/morning was just beginning) we headed home. From here on out, I have to rely on witnesses as I personally cannot recall a single damn event.
It would seem that we made it about a block before nausea came a knockin’ and I had to make a down payment on a full hangover as we stopped and waited for a train. I imagine this was a pretty neat thing for passing traffic to witness, but a deal with the devil is a deal and my payments were due. It would be the first of many in the next hour to come.
I get home, made it to the bathroom where at least I had a proper place do my dirty work. So comfy was the area in and around my toilet that I took a quick nap with my hand resting all cozy and uh, warm in the cat litter. My nap was indeed a quick one though. I awoke to Kim pounding on the door telling me to unlock it. (Apparently I didn’t want to embarrass myself with letting my wife see me like this, it made perfect sense at the time SO CAN IT!) She was still dressed beautifully in a gown and seemed pretty intent on my getting the hell out of the litter box and into bed. Normally I would be quick to answer that request, but with the elusive doorway constantly spinning just out of reach, I wasn’t able to get out without first falling into the damn wall which in my opinion shouldn’t have been constructed there in the first place. This just after she handed me a glass bowl with which to make future deposits should the need “come up”. She quickly revised her game plan upon seeing that I used up all my coordination on the dance floor and handed me a more sturdy metal bowl to take to bed. Not what I was hoping for, but even in my “fuzzy” state, I realized that my night for “swinging from the chandelier romance as the boy was at the baby-sitters all night” was about 4 beers and two shots to late. I crawled into bed and woke up to the alarm blasting a few hours later. Thanking god that it was Saturday and that I didn’t do this to myself on a school night. Kim on the other hand had to go to work. I ate some aspirin, crawled back into bed where I was fully planning to spend my entire day, or the next several, what ever it took not to feel like this beat up and broken, sore stomach havin’ pounding headed excuse for a carcass. At around whenever, I did get up and take a hot, hot shower, made some ginger tea hoping to stop the nausea, when that didn’t work, I got rid of it the old fashioned way, by literally getting rid of it, back to the toilet for me. From there I walk to the Hubbard’s who’s house Dylan is staying, to check on him. The Hubbards by the way are the son and daughter in law of the owner of the company who’s party was responsible for my current condition and by the time I made it over there, my antics had preceded me. After checking on Jr and explaining my condition and the evils of drinkin’, Karen told me he can stay a while longer. I greet this news with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, then head back home where I hold the couch down for the next couple hours. I did manage to eat and keep it down. I started to feel a little better, and then a lot better by the end of dinner. Thank god!
That my friends is as good a reason for moderation as there ever was one.
Sunday rolled around and I was a 110% better, a new man.
Whew! Glad that is over, I’d like to say I learned from it. But I won’t make any promises
Monday, December 05, 2005
Principal's Thespian Ways Discovered
You read right people, the Principal of Dylan’s school is a big Thespian. And a good one at that!
This little discovery was made possible by my brides attempt to inject a little culture into our lives. She bought tickets to A Christmas Carol.
At first I was a little skeptical about the whole thing eating into my precious time of contemplating just the right moment to hang Christmas lights (the right moment still hasn’t presented itself) Anyhoo, my skepticism was soon laid to rest as the performance started. It was very engaging and entertaining. Although the name is a little misleading as there is nobody in it named Carol (I joke)
It was performed at a little dinner theater downtown. Watching the play however, you would’ve thought the tiny stage was boundless.
One big surprise of the show and I mean that literally as the guy is huge, was Dylan’s school Principal was one of the main characters. Actually he played several and flawlessly to boot. It made the play all the more entertaining and provided a connection and point of interest for Dylan although even without Mr. Boling, the play was riveting enough to keep an 8 year old’s eyes glued to the stage. That is a huge endorsement if you ask me. After the play, Dylan had to fight his way through the crowd and let Mr. B. know what a good job he’d done. I thought it was neat that he felt comfortable enough to do that and the fact that Mr. B. had made himself accessible to his students like that says a lot about his character. It was a good time and one I would recommend, misleading title or not.
From there it was straight to the bowling ally where we got right back to the seriousness of preparing for the fast approaching showdown with Grandpa. Upon arrival, I stated as I usually do that this time, “I was probably going to bowl a perfect game”. Only this time I back it up with a strike on my first roll, Head high and maybe a little cocky, I stepped up to clinch a second strike towards my goal, Only to roll a disappointing split. Lofty dreams died a hard and fast death as my game fluctuated from pure brilliance to the gutter and every combo in between. All in all, we played pretty good by our standards, I took the first game, Dylan the second. Kim was “consistent” both games.
I’ll get em next time, or the time after that or perhaps my perfect 300 is lurking in wait of the big game with Grandpa H.
This little discovery was made possible by my brides attempt to inject a little culture into our lives. She bought tickets to A Christmas Carol.
At first I was a little skeptical about the whole thing eating into my precious time of contemplating just the right moment to hang Christmas lights (the right moment still hasn’t presented itself) Anyhoo, my skepticism was soon laid to rest as the performance started. It was very engaging and entertaining. Although the name is a little misleading as there is nobody in it named Carol (I joke)
It was performed at a little dinner theater downtown. Watching the play however, you would’ve thought the tiny stage was boundless.
One big surprise of the show and I mean that literally as the guy is huge, was Dylan’s school Principal was one of the main characters. Actually he played several and flawlessly to boot. It made the play all the more entertaining and provided a connection and point of interest for Dylan although even without Mr. Boling, the play was riveting enough to keep an 8 year old’s eyes glued to the stage. That is a huge endorsement if you ask me. After the play, Dylan had to fight his way through the crowd and let Mr. B. know what a good job he’d done. I thought it was neat that he felt comfortable enough to do that and the fact that Mr. B. had made himself accessible to his students like that says a lot about his character. It was a good time and one I would recommend, misleading title or not.
From there it was straight to the bowling ally where we got right back to the seriousness of preparing for the fast approaching showdown with Grandpa. Upon arrival, I stated as I usually do that this time, “I was probably going to bowl a perfect game”. Only this time I back it up with a strike on my first roll, Head high and maybe a little cocky, I stepped up to clinch a second strike towards my goal, Only to roll a disappointing split. Lofty dreams died a hard and fast death as my game fluctuated from pure brilliance to the gutter and every combo in between. All in all, we played pretty good by our standards, I took the first game, Dylan the second. Kim was “consistent” both games.
I’ll get em next time, or the time after that or perhaps my perfect 300 is lurking in wait of the big game with Grandpa H.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Christmas Tree Cat Toy
You would have thought our Christmas Tree was made of pure catnip! The other 3 cats really could care less, but its Stinker’s first Christmas and its proving to be just too much for him, from the sparkly hanging tinkling glass to the shiny antique ornaments he loves it all, and who can pass up a chance to become a cat-kabob by chewing on the lights. Not him, that’s who. Not to mention it brings the perfect hiding place that he’s used to in the wilds (of our backyard) indoors, conveniently out of the wet weather yet maintaining its benefit of being able to conceal him whilst he waits to pounce on the always unsuspecting Sammy, who from the sound he makes would have you believe Stinky lit him on fire and put him out with a chain saw. All this usually starts at about the time I start to fall asleep. Any amount of clapping or yelling is seen as an empty threat and he just keeps going until Kim forces me to get up and stop the infernal racket. As soon as he hears foot steps coming his way though he shoots back under the tree where he knows I can’t get to him. Sammy of course is the biggest baby in the house and will cry bloody murder if Stinky gets within 4 feet of him. I usually get mad at Sammy since he’s the one actually making the unbearable noise and it makes me wish I could find him a skirt to wear.
Since last mentioning the money draining Tooth Fairy tradition, Dylan has yanked two more teeth out and now I’m firmly convinced its purely for the cash. But his little trick backfired the other night when he tried to chomp down on a carrot, only to learn that it takes more than gums alone to crack one of those babies. Ha ha, sucker. It does however slow down his eating dinner to an unbearable pace for my inherited patience level.
Guess I’m the sucker.
I hope to hang some Christmas lights this weekend, but unless the rain stops, I will have to continue to look at the neighbors. Boy, they really make me look like a scrooge too. Especially after putting up my Halloween stuff on the first of Oct. I still maintain that it is perfectly acceptable to hold out and put your tree and decorations up the 2nd week of December. It would appear that I stand alone in my thinking. This may be the earliest I’ve put any tree up and look at me, I’m feeling pressure to put lights up and its only the 2nd. That’s a sack of crap. This next year I might merge all the holidays together and dress my Christmas tree in my Halloween costume while eating leftover turkey sandwiches as I hide Easter eggs under it.
Since last mentioning the money draining Tooth Fairy tradition, Dylan has yanked two more teeth out and now I’m firmly convinced its purely for the cash. But his little trick backfired the other night when he tried to chomp down on a carrot, only to learn that it takes more than gums alone to crack one of those babies. Ha ha, sucker. It does however slow down his eating dinner to an unbearable pace for my inherited patience level.
Guess I’m the sucker.
I hope to hang some Christmas lights this weekend, but unless the rain stops, I will have to continue to look at the neighbors. Boy, they really make me look like a scrooge too. Especially after putting up my Halloween stuff on the first of Oct. I still maintain that it is perfectly acceptable to hold out and put your tree and decorations up the 2nd week of December. It would appear that I stand alone in my thinking. This may be the earliest I’ve put any tree up and look at me, I’m feeling pressure to put lights up and its only the 2nd. That’s a sack of crap. This next year I might merge all the holidays together and dress my Christmas tree in my Halloween costume while eating leftover turkey sandwiches as I hide Easter eggs under it.
Monday, November 28, 2005
MT SHASTA_0265lr
MT SHASTA_0265lr
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
Shot on the way home. Fresh snow at dusk. A tough combo to beat.
Bike_0241lr
Bike_0241lr
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
I shot this specifically for my buddy Brian. A big Harley fan and even bigger fan of the sparkly starburst effect when applied to a motorcycle. He loves it! Can't get enough of it!. He reads this sometimes and I expect a colorful comment.
TURTLE_0239lr
TURTLE_0239lr
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
This photo also doubles as a portrait of Kim getting ready to go somewhere.
Home For Thanksgiving
Ahh, Home for Thanksgiving! Nothing like it. Its like being wrapped in a warm blanket, literally, my dad keeps the house a refreshing 106 degrees. Kidding dad.
As always, its nice to get back home an enjoy some great food and even better company. Never get to stay long enough to do all the things I want to, or see all the people I’d like to, but we sure made good use of the short time we had. Above are a sampling of said good times. One thing new to Redding that I had yet to see (its been there for a couple of years, but unless I have seen it personally, its new) is the Sun Dial Bridge, crafted from steel and glass, this bridge is a sight to behold. Designed by Santiago Calatrava, the bridge is the gateway to the Turtle Bay Exploration Park and McConnell Arboretum. What a huge upgrade to the area. One of the best things about it is they finally explain what that old monolith was for. In all the years I lived there, that was nothing to me but an old eyesore. No explanation as to what or why its burned out hulking mass of concrete was doing there all these years. Turns out its was the aggregate plant that supplied the concrete for the Shasta Dam. A massive conveyor belt 10 miles long supplied the workers with nonstop materials for the concrete that went into the dam. Very cool. The turtle shots and the family pictures were taken in and around the park. We thoroughly enjoyed it and could spend many more hours discovering all it has to offer. Later that evening, mom and I made the trip back to the bridge for some night shots, (the bridge lights up). I couldn’t get exactly what I wanted as I waited to long to get down there. However. Turning the camera up river, I got a nice shot looking towards Caldwell park. (Named after the late husband of my sophomore English teacher Mrs. Caldwell or as I like to call her, the crabbiest old battle ax on Earth. (We didn’t always see eye to eye.) My dad and I even got to spend a little time in his shop making some tools. His expertise with metal makes it look easy but its not, and I'm happy to have been able to watch him work. We also did a little shopping at the tool store which is always fun. I wish I could spend more time with him learning what he knows.
It was great trip and good time spent with the whole family. On the way back I snapped a couple shots of Mt. Shasta in the evening light. Its just after a fresh snow fell on the peak.
As always, its nice to get back home an enjoy some great food and even better company. Never get to stay long enough to do all the things I want to, or see all the people I’d like to, but we sure made good use of the short time we had. Above are a sampling of said good times. One thing new to Redding that I had yet to see (its been there for a couple of years, but unless I have seen it personally, its new) is the Sun Dial Bridge, crafted from steel and glass, this bridge is a sight to behold. Designed by Santiago Calatrava, the bridge is the gateway to the Turtle Bay Exploration Park and McConnell Arboretum. What a huge upgrade to the area. One of the best things about it is they finally explain what that old monolith was for. In all the years I lived there, that was nothing to me but an old eyesore. No explanation as to what or why its burned out hulking mass of concrete was doing there all these years. Turns out its was the aggregate plant that supplied the concrete for the Shasta Dam. A massive conveyor belt 10 miles long supplied the workers with nonstop materials for the concrete that went into the dam. Very cool. The turtle shots and the family pictures were taken in and around the park. We thoroughly enjoyed it and could spend many more hours discovering all it has to offer. Later that evening, mom and I made the trip back to the bridge for some night shots, (the bridge lights up). I couldn’t get exactly what I wanted as I waited to long to get down there. However. Turning the camera up river, I got a nice shot looking towards Caldwell park. (Named after the late husband of my sophomore English teacher Mrs. Caldwell or as I like to call her, the crabbiest old battle ax on Earth. (We didn’t always see eye to eye.) My dad and I even got to spend a little time in his shop making some tools. His expertise with metal makes it look easy but its not, and I'm happy to have been able to watch him work. We also did a little shopping at the tool store which is always fun. I wish I could spend more time with him learning what he knows.
It was great trip and good time spent with the whole family. On the way back I snapped a couple shots of Mt. Shasta in the evening light. Its just after a fresh snow fell on the peak.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Dogs Dirty Digits Don't Decieve, Dog Demented.
My dog is crazy. She is the sweetest dog, but she's challenged. She has taken to hanging out in the bathtub. Actually she's always done this, I don't know why, sometimes its because the smoke alarm goes off, or something beeps (she hates beeping things), but lately she just likes sleeping in there. My picky kid wont take a bath or shower until I scrub the tub with comet. You all see where this is leading right? You guessed it, the dogs new trick is designed to create a never-ending job for me, another one, as if shedding all day isn't enough. Well, "throw her outside" you say, I say, "ok" then she goes and wedges herself between a tree and my deck where she likes to sit in wait of squirrels to bark at and chase. She has dug herself a cozy little mud pit that of course gets on her paws at the first hint of rain. Well, last night was dry as a bone right, so no worries. I call her in right before Dylan is to get into his bath. Dylan goes in a few minutes later and says, " uh dad, can you come here, I need to show you something" being as patient with his stall tactics as I can be, I say, "What", he says just come here, I can't explain it", "Try" I say, after I realize this is going nowhere fast, I haul myself off the couch and into the bathroom where it becomes painfully clear that Jazzy was in her secret hiding spot outside, I didn't realize she was dirty because the dirt was dry enough not to leave tracks on the floor when she came in. She fixed that by climbing into the bathtub and wetting her paws a little. From there it was clear that she turned a few circles, climbed out of the tub, walked over to the window a couple times, checked the cat box for fresh eats, sniffed the toilet and clothes hamper and of course walked all over Dylan's clothes and then the rest of the house.
Dylan came very close to learning how many appropriate uses there are for the F word. But I managed to use my "inside voice".
Stupid dog.
Once I got the place clean, her paws scrubbed and my kid started on his shower, its back to the couch to be stared at by Jazzy unflinchingly like after all the yelling I did, I must have some nerve to sit on her couch. When that didn't work, she sat in the middle of the room staring at the wall with her back to me. A new trick she picked up to get back at me or anyone she deems responsible for displacing her from her spot -on- the- couch- that- has- never- really- been- allowed- but- does -it- anyway. She's pretty hard to stay mad at though and 15 minutes later, she was back in my good graces and curled up nice and cozy on the couch.
Dylan came very close to learning how many appropriate uses there are for the F word. But I managed to use my "inside voice".
Stupid dog.
Once I got the place clean, her paws scrubbed and my kid started on his shower, its back to the couch to be stared at by Jazzy unflinchingly like after all the yelling I did, I must have some nerve to sit on her couch. When that didn't work, she sat in the middle of the room staring at the wall with her back to me. A new trick she picked up to get back at me or anyone she deems responsible for displacing her from her spot -on- the- couch- that- has- never- really- been- allowed- but- does -it- anyway. She's pretty hard to stay mad at though and 15 minutes later, she was back in my good graces and curled up nice and cozy on the couch.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Eugene Man Pulls For Home Depot
A recent news story has grabbed my attention and stands as a perfect example of why I can’t find anyone at Home Depot to answer my legitimate and important questions. Its not their fault, they have to tend to more important issues like making sure some moron checks his toilet seat before sitting down. Or knowing Home Depots upstanding reputation they probably went a step further and stationed someone in the bathroom to wipe this guys ass so he doesn’t “feel like he’s having a heart attack”.
I personally think this guy got what he had coming to him. Nobody I know would use a public rest room without so much as glancing at the seat. And if I were to do that, I would be thankful that what I sat in was only glue, good old sterile glue. Perhaps this is why they put ass gaskets in the stalls. Home Depot covered their bases, why couldn’t this guy? Still, they are getting hit with a 3 million dollar lawsuit! Unbelievable. FOR WHAT! The only thing they could do, they did. Sure it took a minute or two, but honestly, if some nutbag was yelling from in the stall, I’d let him “rot” as well. The best I would have done was go to the paint thinner aisle and slide a can under the stall. Beyond that, your on your own. Meanwhile they call the fire department and paramedics to the scene and take them away from real emergencies. Oh and by the way, this happened in 2003! (Two years ago for the mathematically challenged), why are we hearing about this now? And heres another little pearl of information: Same thing happened to him a year earlier at a Visitor’s Center, only then, he was brave enough to heroically pry himself free on his own. Whew! Thank god! Now he can drive up the price of nails by faking the same trick at Home Depot!
Faker!
If I was the judge in this case, I would not only throw this case out as a frivolous piece of trash, I would fine the lawyers and if that wasn’t legal, I’d at the very least charge this guy with destroying private property and make him pay for all the emergency crews, not to mention court costs. And if at all possible, I’d go Abu Grab on him and make him stand on a box with a hoody and nipple clamps. Maybe then he’d learn a lesson.
I’m sick to death of all these idiots and their stupid claims filed to get rich off innocent people. I blame lawyers for encouraging this kind of behavior and the judges who hand out winning judgements.
If you go to McDonald’s get coffee (a typically hot beverage) then, put it between your legs while driving too fast over speed bumps, you get what you get. Not McDonald’s fault.
And because of these losers, we have warnings on everything you pick up now-a-days. And maybe its just my lack of patience, but when I do actually read the instructions that come with something I have to assemble, (instead of just looking at the picture on the box) I now have to trudge through 5 pages worth of things not to do in order to start assembly. Nice work dipsh*ts! (I had to censor myself for the more sensitive members of my audience.)
I personally think this guy got what he had coming to him. Nobody I know would use a public rest room without so much as glancing at the seat. And if I were to do that, I would be thankful that what I sat in was only glue, good old sterile glue. Perhaps this is why they put ass gaskets in the stalls. Home Depot covered their bases, why couldn’t this guy? Still, they are getting hit with a 3 million dollar lawsuit! Unbelievable. FOR WHAT! The only thing they could do, they did. Sure it took a minute or two, but honestly, if some nutbag was yelling from in the stall, I’d let him “rot” as well. The best I would have done was go to the paint thinner aisle and slide a can under the stall. Beyond that, your on your own. Meanwhile they call the fire department and paramedics to the scene and take them away from real emergencies. Oh and by the way, this happened in 2003! (Two years ago for the mathematically challenged), why are we hearing about this now? And heres another little pearl of information: Same thing happened to him a year earlier at a Visitor’s Center, only then, he was brave enough to heroically pry himself free on his own. Whew! Thank god! Now he can drive up the price of nails by faking the same trick at Home Depot!
Faker!
If I was the judge in this case, I would not only throw this case out as a frivolous piece of trash, I would fine the lawyers and if that wasn’t legal, I’d at the very least charge this guy with destroying private property and make him pay for all the emergency crews, not to mention court costs. And if at all possible, I’d go Abu Grab on him and make him stand on a box with a hoody and nipple clamps. Maybe then he’d learn a lesson.
I’m sick to death of all these idiots and their stupid claims filed to get rich off innocent people. I blame lawyers for encouraging this kind of behavior and the judges who hand out winning judgements.
If you go to McDonald’s get coffee (a typically hot beverage) then, put it between your legs while driving too fast over speed bumps, you get what you get. Not McDonald’s fault.
And because of these losers, we have warnings on everything you pick up now-a-days. And maybe its just my lack of patience, but when I do actually read the instructions that come with something I have to assemble, (instead of just looking at the picture on the box) I now have to trudge through 5 pages worth of things not to do in order to start assembly. Nice work dipsh*ts! (I had to censor myself for the more sensitive members of my audience.)
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Blustery and Beautiful.
I love today!
I woke up on the crabbly side of the bed and Kim apparently had the same problem with her side.
So it started out a little rough, but as soon as I stepped outside for my morning walk, leashed to my faithful ball retrieving carnivorous companion, I was immediately pelted in the face by 40 mph wind driven rain and happy with my choice to wear both jacket and gloves. Its a perfect fall day, leaves blowing all around, the smells of fall fills the air, its raining but not too hard, its chilly but not too cold, you get the idea, its a perfect day for a fire and some hot coffee. Since walking around with fire might seem awkward to the neighbors, I go with coffee only. I really enjoy the walk, watching the people as I go. There are the usual characters out, the guy with the 2 dogs and blue hat with earmuffs, the lady on the football field taking giant one yard steps to the 50 yard line, running back and doing it again. She never says hi or good morning or anything. There’s the elderly couple who walk hand in hand and are always quick with a wave. Although I didn’t see them today. Then there’s this sad girl on her way to school who always looks like she just can’t take another minute of this life. I always make it a point to say ‘good morning’. At first she wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I figured she thought it was weird that a stranger would be friendly, and its probably been drilled into her head from early on that talking to strange men is bad. Which is a good thing to be cautious of. She must be getting used to me though. She smiled once the other day and this morning, gave me a tentative ‘good morning’ back. It was a breakthrough of sorts. She seems to think of herself as sort of an outcast and I wonder if she’s ok. She reminds me of a lot of people I’ve known and sometimes a random smile and friendly gesture from someone outside her circle of acquaintances is a refreshing sign that all is not lost with the world, at least that’s what I want to believe. She probably thinks of me as the old dog walking guy that keeps bugging her. That’s ok too. Anyway, It was a nice walk and by the end, I was in a great mood.
I woke up on the crabbly side of the bed and Kim apparently had the same problem with her side.
So it started out a little rough, but as soon as I stepped outside for my morning walk, leashed to my faithful ball retrieving carnivorous companion, I was immediately pelted in the face by 40 mph wind driven rain and happy with my choice to wear both jacket and gloves. Its a perfect fall day, leaves blowing all around, the smells of fall fills the air, its raining but not too hard, its chilly but not too cold, you get the idea, its a perfect day for a fire and some hot coffee. Since walking around with fire might seem awkward to the neighbors, I go with coffee only. I really enjoy the walk, watching the people as I go. There are the usual characters out, the guy with the 2 dogs and blue hat with earmuffs, the lady on the football field taking giant one yard steps to the 50 yard line, running back and doing it again. She never says hi or good morning or anything. There’s the elderly couple who walk hand in hand and are always quick with a wave. Although I didn’t see them today. Then there’s this sad girl on her way to school who always looks like she just can’t take another minute of this life. I always make it a point to say ‘good morning’. At first she wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I figured she thought it was weird that a stranger would be friendly, and its probably been drilled into her head from early on that talking to strange men is bad. Which is a good thing to be cautious of. She must be getting used to me though. She smiled once the other day and this morning, gave me a tentative ‘good morning’ back. It was a breakthrough of sorts. She seems to think of herself as sort of an outcast and I wonder if she’s ok. She reminds me of a lot of people I’ve known and sometimes a random smile and friendly gesture from someone outside her circle of acquaintances is a refreshing sign that all is not lost with the world, at least that’s what I want to believe. She probably thinks of me as the old dog walking guy that keeps bugging her. That’s ok too. Anyway, It was a nice walk and by the end, I was in a great mood.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Halloween Goes Off Without a (w)Hitch.
It was a great night! Everything went well. Dylan, Kim and the Hubbards went trick or treating while I stayed behind to man post. And man my post I did! I would lay in wait as my victims cautiously walked up my driveway, then as they reached my fence, I came around the corner and just appeared silently in front of them. Now, before anyone accuses me of being jerk and scaring little kids to the point of tears, I should say that that was not my intention and when I saw that it was a little guy, I came out way early so as not to startle them, and even took my mask off when they started crying. It was clear early on that my costume was a success! Now it was punk scaring “GO TIME” and with them, I would wait until they rounded the corner of my fence before coming out to maximize the effect. Wow! It was so much fun. If they didn’t scream, they froze and backed up. Classic. Then laughed and everyone was happy. Even had some repeat customers that wanted pictures with me. This particular couple was in there 20’s and of Middle Eastern descent they spoke English well, but screamed and yelled in their native tongue, what ever that was. They were having a great time. As it turns out, they are my new neighbors. What an icebreaker.
It rained pretty much the whole time, but that doesn’t detour a guy like me. I realize I’m not made of sugar and pure mischief doesn’t melt so I carried on until they stopped.
I left the pumpkins lit and conveniently right at the end of my driveway, just begging to be smashed.
Well, the official end of the Halloween season came to a ‘smashing’ end at 2:30 in the morning when a car full of less than sober college kids pulled up with the music blasting. They piled out of the SUV with the efficiency that only seasoned smashers have, hooting and hollering, they smashed my pumpkins and raised their arms in victory as if they knew that I could not rest until someone did it. Of course they left all my other decorations alone. Good pumpkin hunters.
So we conclude another Fall and head into the Xmas season.
I felt the first twinge of Christmas already, which should go away about mid November after I’m barraged with a billion ads and even more Xmas music everywhere I turn, but perhaps this year will different. For Thanksgiving, we’re going ‘over the river and through the woods to Grandmothers house’ in California, (my family) and Jim and Karen are coming to town for Xmas. We’re all really looking forward to that. So I will do what I can to keep the spirit alive and well and not turn into a giant Crankipotamus.
It rained pretty much the whole time, but that doesn’t detour a guy like me. I realize I’m not made of sugar and pure mischief doesn’t melt so I carried on until they stopped.
I left the pumpkins lit and conveniently right at the end of my driveway, just begging to be smashed.
Well, the official end of the Halloween season came to a ‘smashing’ end at 2:30 in the morning when a car full of less than sober college kids pulled up with the music blasting. They piled out of the SUV with the efficiency that only seasoned smashers have, hooting and hollering, they smashed my pumpkins and raised their arms in victory as if they knew that I could not rest until someone did it. Of course they left all my other decorations alone. Good pumpkin hunters.
So we conclude another Fall and head into the Xmas season.
I felt the first twinge of Christmas already, which should go away about mid November after I’m barraged with a billion ads and even more Xmas music everywhere I turn, but perhaps this year will different. For Thanksgiving, we’re going ‘over the river and through the woods to Grandmothers house’ in California, (my family) and Jim and Karen are coming to town for Xmas. We’re all really looking forward to that. So I will do what I can to keep the spirit alive and well and not turn into a giant Crankipotamus.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween!
Today's the big day, the day we wait 364 other days to get to. I gotta keep this short, lots to do when I get home! Need to paint Dylans face and get him all creepified, then set up some strobe lights out front to look like lightning and to light up my freaky costume. Then get dressed and wait for little kids to happen by and scare. Should be a good time had by all.
So with daylight savings it's nice and light for my morning walk, plus its unseasonable warm out and so it felt like a summer day. Of course that will change when we're plunged back into darkness at 3:00. Still, it was nice being able to see where we're walking.
Yesterday was nice, pretty warm out. The grass is finally green again and needed cut, so I did that while Kim and Dylan raked leaves. Then Dylan and I tried to dig up a little tree to replant elsewhere else in the yard, when we couldn't pull it out after 20 mins of hard labor digging, we put the truck to work and tied a rope around the roots. Slowly I backed up in 4 wheel drive until (you guessed it) the rope broke. So I hacked it off at the roots with an ax and filled in the hole. Then, its off to bowling where we always have a great time. Dylan is getting much better, for me its like golf. I can roll 3 strikes in a row, then suck horribly, all in one game. Kim is pretty consistent (as long as the bumper guards are up, ha ha ha) I tease.
We have to practice and get our act together for when grandpa comes out. Dylans pretty sure he's going to beat him. I keep tryin' to tell the high hoped little fella that none of us will beat him. Even if we combine our scores, so we may have to go Tonya Harding on him with a crowbar to the knee in the parking lot. That gave him some hope.
He would like a bowling ball for xmas a 6 pounder with holes just right for him. I think its more that he wants something else heavy to leave on the floor for me to kick bare toed in the middle of the night than it is for bowling, but we'll see. Either way, it will be an entertaining gift for him.
I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween!
So with daylight savings it's nice and light for my morning walk, plus its unseasonable warm out and so it felt like a summer day. Of course that will change when we're plunged back into darkness at 3:00. Still, it was nice being able to see where we're walking.
Yesterday was nice, pretty warm out. The grass is finally green again and needed cut, so I did that while Kim and Dylan raked leaves. Then Dylan and I tried to dig up a little tree to replant elsewhere else in the yard, when we couldn't pull it out after 20 mins of hard labor digging, we put the truck to work and tied a rope around the roots. Slowly I backed up in 4 wheel drive until (you guessed it) the rope broke. So I hacked it off at the roots with an ax and filled in the hole. Then, its off to bowling where we always have a great time. Dylan is getting much better, for me its like golf. I can roll 3 strikes in a row, then suck horribly, all in one game. Kim is pretty consistent (as long as the bumper guards are up, ha ha ha) I tease.
We have to practice and get our act together for when grandpa comes out. Dylans pretty sure he's going to beat him. I keep tryin' to tell the high hoped little fella that none of us will beat him. Even if we combine our scores, so we may have to go Tonya Harding on him with a crowbar to the knee in the parking lot. That gave him some hope.
He would like a bowling ball for xmas a 6 pounder with holes just right for him. I think its more that he wants something else heavy to leave on the floor for me to kick bare toed in the middle of the night than it is for bowling, but we'll see. Either way, it will be an entertaining gift for him.
I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween!
Friday, October 28, 2005
Building Website Unravels Eugene Man's Sanity
There are few times in my life where I have wanted to physically harm my computer and since its a laptop, I imagine it would make for a nice, hi tech frisbee. I realize that acting on this will only slow my progress further and if I'm honest with myself, I would say that its not the computer at all, its my lack of understanding html. The computer is simply the messenger delivering the bad news. My website is built and done, the only thing stopping me from publishing it successfully is a mere 5 links. Thats it. 5 little clicky clicks of the stupid mouse and I'm on my way. Nearly 6 months of work building this to be a "simple" website and it all comes down to linking pages together. so when you click on the button, your magically transported to another page through the ether or cyber space, or where ever the heck you go for that brief time in between clicks. I will beat this thing. I have other ideas to whip it into shape.
However, if there is anyone reading this that has any advice to send my way, I would gladly write something nice about you in my next post.
Maybe even link your site to my blog. Huh? how bout it? enticing isn't it?
I think my wife and kid would also appreciate your advice. I'm getting the sneaking suspision that they are utterly sick of my bitching and psychotic rumblings about html tag this and html tag that.
Dylan flat out says, "Dad all you do is worry about this website, your focusing too much on it". Of course he's said that from the first day I started working on it when it interferred with playing catch or something. They're right though, I'm ready to move on to other projects as well.
However, if there is anyone reading this that has any advice to send my way, I would gladly write something nice about you in my next post.
Maybe even link your site to my blog. Huh? how bout it? enticing isn't it?
I think my wife and kid would also appreciate your advice. I'm getting the sneaking suspision that they are utterly sick of my bitching and psychotic rumblings about html tag this and html tag that.
Dylan flat out says, "Dad all you do is worry about this website, your focusing too much on it". Of course he's said that from the first day I started working on it when it interferred with playing catch or something. They're right though, I'm ready to move on to other projects as well.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Long Forgotten Word Dug up and Dusted Off For Your Enjoyment
I’m backing out of my driveway this morning and from out of nowhere, this word pops into my head, carbuncle, and I start laughing to myself because it sounds funny. You know like; He he, stupid word. (like Homer would say it)
Then I want to know what the heck it means and why is it surfacing now? What triggered it to pop into my noodle so randomly? Well here is the official definition as listed by my handy online dictionary, www.dictionary.com (so as not to be sued for plagiarism)
car·bun·cle ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kärbngkl)
n.
1. A painful localized bacterial infection of the skin and subcutaneous tissue that usually has several openings through which pus is discharged.
2.
a. A deep-red garnet, unfaceted and convex.
b. Obsolete. A red precious stone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Middle English, from Old French, from Latin carbunculus, small glowing ember, carbuncle, diminutive of carb, carbn-, coal. See ker-3 in Indo-European Roots.]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
carbuncled adj.
car·buncu·lar (-ky-lr) adj.
So after giving this some deep thought, I am mentally whisked back to 7th grade where my teacher Mrs. Shaw undoubtably forced me to learn the spelling and definition of this and thousands of other utterly useless words. I was probably even forced to use it in a sentence. I don’t remember exactly, but I'll go out on a limb and assume my sentence went something like this:
Today, I was forced to look up the word carbuncle and as a result I feel rather carbuncular.
To which she would have given me the disappointed teacher look followed by an F.
Well Gayle, (I’m old enough to use her first name now) having looked up this silly word for the second time in 22 years, I still don’t know what the heck it means or how I would use it! Look at the definition! Is it an oozing pus hole, or a gem? and as far as using it in real life, If I said, “Today I gave my girl a carbuncle” You might assume she needed a shot of penicillin when actually I meant a deep-red garnet, unfaceted and convexed.
My point to all this is how much of this useless knowledge is floating around in my brain. Does this fractured knowledge bubble and ooze like a carbuncle only to surface one day as I back out of the driveway on my way to work? Yes apparently it does.
Well, my reality doesn’t use the word carbuncle but once every 22 years, and further more, in the real world, I do in fact get to draw pictures and daydream and come up with neat images and ideas that back in the day (7th grade) earned me a disappointed teacher look. Neener neener neener.
Spell that and use it in a sentence!
I pick on Gayle because she was an awesome teacher and I know she can take it. (plus she might read this someday) but all kids go through the same crap. Being forced to temporarily learn crap they will never actually use. I use to remember the words just long enough to get a perfectly acceptable C on the test, then I would purge the knowledge and prepare for the next 10 useless words. Well as it turns out, my purging must have been flawed otherwise this funny word carbuncle would not have trespassed upon the sacred landscape that is my mind this morning. How many more words will surface Gayle? Can I expect some fractions to appear at lunch, or perhaps some tidbit about a wayward Spanish Armada discovering our already discovered world in 1492? I can’t turn it off Gayle, you’ve created a monster.
Well it may have taken 22 years, but now I not only know what ‘carbuncle’ means, I can use it in a sentence if you like, or a 500 word essay, your choice. I guess your mission is officially accomplished.
Thank you Mrs. Shaw.
(for the record she was actually one of about 3 teachers I had that truly appreciated and encouraged creativity and thinking outside the box) This is what that gets her! I hope she's learned a lesson.
Then I want to know what the heck it means and why is it surfacing now? What triggered it to pop into my noodle so randomly? Well here is the official definition as listed by my handy online dictionary, www.dictionary.com (so as not to be sued for plagiarism)
car·bun·cle ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kärbngkl)
n.
1. A painful localized bacterial infection of the skin and subcutaneous tissue that usually has several openings through which pus is discharged.
2.
a. A deep-red garnet, unfaceted and convex.
b. Obsolete. A red precious stone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Middle English, from Old French, from Latin carbunculus, small glowing ember, carbuncle, diminutive of carb, carbn-, coal. See ker-3 in Indo-European Roots.]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
carbuncled adj.
car·buncu·lar (-ky-lr) adj.
So after giving this some deep thought, I am mentally whisked back to 7th grade where my teacher Mrs. Shaw undoubtably forced me to learn the spelling and definition of this and thousands of other utterly useless words. I was probably even forced to use it in a sentence. I don’t remember exactly, but I'll go out on a limb and assume my sentence went something like this:
Today, I was forced to look up the word carbuncle and as a result I feel rather carbuncular.
To which she would have given me the disappointed teacher look followed by an F.
Well Gayle, (I’m old enough to use her first name now) having looked up this silly word for the second time in 22 years, I still don’t know what the heck it means or how I would use it! Look at the definition! Is it an oozing pus hole, or a gem? and as far as using it in real life, If I said, “Today I gave my girl a carbuncle” You might assume she needed a shot of penicillin when actually I meant a deep-red garnet, unfaceted and convexed.
My point to all this is how much of this useless knowledge is floating around in my brain. Does this fractured knowledge bubble and ooze like a carbuncle only to surface one day as I back out of the driveway on my way to work? Yes apparently it does.
Well, my reality doesn’t use the word carbuncle but once every 22 years, and further more, in the real world, I do in fact get to draw pictures and daydream and come up with neat images and ideas that back in the day (7th grade) earned me a disappointed teacher look. Neener neener neener.
Spell that and use it in a sentence!
I pick on Gayle because she was an awesome teacher and I know she can take it. (plus she might read this someday) but all kids go through the same crap. Being forced to temporarily learn crap they will never actually use. I use to remember the words just long enough to get a perfectly acceptable C on the test, then I would purge the knowledge and prepare for the next 10 useless words. Well as it turns out, my purging must have been flawed otherwise this funny word carbuncle would not have trespassed upon the sacred landscape that is my mind this morning. How many more words will surface Gayle? Can I expect some fractions to appear at lunch, or perhaps some tidbit about a wayward Spanish Armada discovering our already discovered world in 1492? I can’t turn it off Gayle, you’ve created a monster.
Well it may have taken 22 years, but now I not only know what ‘carbuncle’ means, I can use it in a sentence if you like, or a 500 word essay, your choice. I guess your mission is officially accomplished.
Thank you Mrs. Shaw.
(for the record she was actually one of about 3 teachers I had that truly appreciated and encouraged creativity and thinking outside the box) This is what that gets her! I hope she's learned a lesson.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
From Tyke to Tycoon With One Tooth!
Thats right, Dylan lost another tooth! I'm beginning to think he's pulling them out, ready or not, for the cold hard cash the 'Tooth Fairy' brings. I even tried to get out of it. I said, "well since you know the truth, I suppose its silly to carry on with the tradition huh"? He just looked at me like 'Not an option pal! After 8 years of your lying BS, the least you could do is cough up a five spot once in a while. So now, this tooth fairy business is being fueled by pure guilt. Nice.
Let me give some valuable cost cutting parental advice to those who are headed down this same road. Start off low. Yea, yea, that first tooth is special, and of course its a big deal! Treat it like a big deal by all means, just don't make it worth $5! There is no going back after you've done that. What, his other teeth and the effort to yank 'em out aren't worth the same as the first one? And what about a molar? What happens then? A second mortgage?
We've really dug ourselves a hole and now can't afford a shovel to dig out with. Dylan can though!
No wonder the most I ever pulled down for a tooth was $1.00. I wonder if my parents learned a similar lesson with Eric? He probably got the $5 spot while I got the quarters. Thats cool, at least I could get a pack of gum for every 3 teeth I yanked out of my skull.
In all honesty, I thought the quarter made me rich so I guess it all works out. With that in mind, pennies would probably make your tyke feel like a tycoon. So start low people!
Let me give some valuable cost cutting parental advice to those who are headed down this same road. Start off low. Yea, yea, that first tooth is special, and of course its a big deal! Treat it like a big deal by all means, just don't make it worth $5! There is no going back after you've done that. What, his other teeth and the effort to yank 'em out aren't worth the same as the first one? And what about a molar? What happens then? A second mortgage?
We've really dug ourselves a hole and now can't afford a shovel to dig out with. Dylan can though!
No wonder the most I ever pulled down for a tooth was $1.00. I wonder if my parents learned a similar lesson with Eric? He probably got the $5 spot while I got the quarters. Thats cool, at least I could get a pack of gum for every 3 teeth I yanked out of my skull.
In all honesty, I thought the quarter made me rich so I guess it all works out. With that in mind, pennies would probably make your tyke feel like a tycoon. So start low people!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Wife Makes Mockery of Victimized Man
I got home last night before the Mrs. and Jr. and so not to waste even a minute of my day. I got busy with my quest to catch the punks in action. I even went to the trouble of putting out an irresistible gargoyle and splicing it into the main line of my security system, (which really just consists of tying one string to the main one). I had my camera in hand waiting patiently. Like a spider waiting for a fly. My pulse quickening at the sound of approaching troublemakers on bikes. Well after about 45 seconds of this, I go in to read. Still very aware of my surroundings mind you. I hear a motorcycle that roars by and then nothing, that’s when the alarm sounds only its a vigorous shaking, like I actually caught one of these hoodlums. I grab my camera and head out the door. I round the bushes moving quickly but silently towards the gate, when to my surprise, the gate begins to open! I think YES! they’re coming in and making it that much easier on me, stupid punks!
Instead, its my wisenhiemer wife and kid playing a cruel joke on me. She pulled the string to see what I would do, I think she was a little surprised that I was right there camera in hand as she came through the gate. Maybe a little surprised and concerned for my mental wellbeing. Nonetheless, judging by the nearly uncontrollable burst of laughter, she was having a great time at my expense. I have to admit, if it wasn’t me it would’ve been hilarious, but it was so its NOT!
More later.
Instead, its my wisenhiemer wife and kid playing a cruel joke on me. She pulled the string to see what I would do, I think she was a little surprised that I was right there camera in hand as she came through the gate. Maybe a little surprised and concerned for my mental wellbeing. Nonetheless, judging by the nearly uncontrollable burst of laughter, she was having a great time at my expense. I have to admit, if it wasn’t me it would’ve been hilarious, but it was so its NOT!
More later.
Monday, October 24, 2005
False Alarm Stirs Eugene Family
It was a dark and foggy morning. I had already hit the Ol’ snooze button once and had every intention of hitting it again when another alarm sounded, this one raised the hairs on the back of my neck. On Saturday, Dylan and I cleverly installed a pumpkin smasher early warning detection system, or as I like to call it a P.S.E.W.D.S.
Anyone gets within 5 feet of my newly fashioned pumpkin headed scarecrow and they hit a trip wire that rings our really deep windchimes.
Well anyway, just after 6 am, it goes off. Kim says, “better go check, but put some pants on first”. Oh yea, pants. While I think that running out there butt naked would go along way toward sealing my ‘Ol’ Crazyman Morton’ persona that I try to instill in all the neighborhood kids, I think it sends the wrong message, so the desperate search for my freshly washed sweatpants ensues. Why oh why cant they be conveniently strewn across the bed like normal?
Finally I find them after what feels like a lifetime of searching. The only shirt I can come up with is an old Detroit Redwing’s shirt which I assume someone gave me to mop up cat vomit with. (Cause why else would you have one). So I go shirtless through the door, and out to confront the early rising punks. I get halfway to the gate and realize that someone put my sweatpants on backwards. CURSES! How intimidating am I going to be if I can’t even put my pants on correctly. I shake off my failure and proceed through the gate...
(pause for suspense)
...Nothing! No punks. No smashed pumpkin, nothing. I can only assume a raccoon set it off.
Well it wont be long, they have to have seen my fresh pumpkin headed scarecrow, or as I refer to him now, “Bait”. I’ll keep you all posted.
Anyone gets within 5 feet of my newly fashioned pumpkin headed scarecrow and they hit a trip wire that rings our really deep windchimes.
Well anyway, just after 6 am, it goes off. Kim says, “better go check, but put some pants on first”. Oh yea, pants. While I think that running out there butt naked would go along way toward sealing my ‘Ol’ Crazyman Morton’ persona that I try to instill in all the neighborhood kids, I think it sends the wrong message, so the desperate search for my freshly washed sweatpants ensues. Why oh why cant they be conveniently strewn across the bed like normal?
Finally I find them after what feels like a lifetime of searching. The only shirt I can come up with is an old Detroit Redwing’s shirt which I assume someone gave me to mop up cat vomit with. (Cause why else would you have one). So I go shirtless through the door, and out to confront the early rising punks. I get halfway to the gate and realize that someone put my sweatpants on backwards. CURSES! How intimidating am I going to be if I can’t even put my pants on correctly. I shake off my failure and proceed through the gate...
(pause for suspense)
...Nothing! No punks. No smashed pumpkin, nothing. I can only assume a raccoon set it off.
Well it wont be long, they have to have seen my fresh pumpkin headed scarecrow, or as I refer to him now, “Bait”. I’ll keep you all posted.
Family of Three Solve Amazing Maize Maze in Not So ‘Near Record Time
On Saturday we piled into the car for the annual pumpkin picking and kettle corn eatin’ extravaganza held at Lone Pine Farms. I love this place. Not just because we find the best pumpkins, no, not just because we get fresh warm kettlecorn, nope, but because they have the mother of all corn mazes! And its a haunted one at that. Ok, during the day its not so much haunted as it is just decorated, but at night, they bring it to life. In a couple years when Dylan can hang, he and I can go through and have the crap scared out of us. Meanwhile, its still fun to go through. This year took us 49 min. We beat our last year best time of 1:16 min. Not bad considering how complex this thing is. After the maze, we head toward the sign that reads, “Horse drawn hay ride to the pumpkin patch”, which should have read, “Welcome to the BACK of the longest, slowest moving line in history”. We stick it out because Dylan wants the horses, even though the tractor drawn hay ride line is moving at twice the speed. We get on and go pick 80 lbs worth of pumpkins. It was a good time.
This year I’m going to be the grim reaper. Same as last year, and every year before that. Although this year I have added some super creepy lookin’ cheese cloth to really send home the “just dug out of the ground” look. So I stain my cheese cloth with coffee until it looks nice and old. Thing is, even though I dried it outdoors, it really smells like coffee and I don’t want the rest of my clothes to smell like that so I hang it (and the mask) innocently from our curtain rod in the bedroom. So when you turn on the light, this 6 foot floating creepy faced vision of death is the first thing that greets you. That lasted for about 3 1/2 seconds before Kim made me take it all out to my office and hang it there. Big Baby. Anyway. The following pics illustrate our day. Enjoy.
This year I’m going to be the grim reaper. Same as last year, and every year before that. Although this year I have added some super creepy lookin’ cheese cloth to really send home the “just dug out of the ground” look. So I stain my cheese cloth with coffee until it looks nice and old. Thing is, even though I dried it outdoors, it really smells like coffee and I don’t want the rest of my clothes to smell like that so I hang it (and the mask) innocently from our curtain rod in the bedroom. So when you turn on the light, this 6 foot floating creepy faced vision of death is the first thing that greets you. That lasted for about 3 1/2 seconds before Kim made me take it all out to my office and hang it there. Big Baby. Anyway. The following pics illustrate our day. Enjoy.
Real ghost
DSC_0076LR
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
Look closely. I didn't take this, it was just there when I processed the image. hhhmmm Weird!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Power Ball Jackpot Winner is Oregon Resident
I get a call from Shane (my brother in law) checking to see if he needs to head to work today as the biggest single winner jackpot is won and the owner of the ticket is an Orgonian. While we did purchase a couple tickets, I'm writing this from work which should tell you that I am not in fact the winning ticket holder. I didn't even get one number on either ticket! There should be a prize for being as far as possible from winning. If there was, I would be the proud ticket holder.
Although I love my job, I can think of other things to do with a cool 340 Million burning a hole in my pocket.
This does bring me to a more somber point. My company on Tuesday went through a large downsizing of employees from the administration side of the corporation, and we lost a lot of really good people. In a way I did hit the lottery in that I was not one of them. My hopes and prayers go out to all that did lose there jobs. The face of the economy is changing and I fear we haven't seen the end of such cutbacks, in fact I think this is the tip of the iceberg as they say.
On a lighter note, The neighborhood is finally starting to decorate for Halloween, so perhaps I can redo what I lost with the vandals without the punks noticing. Ther are some really cool decorations going up and I'm happy to say that they are secured with cables. Clearly these neighbors learned from my mistakes and went the extra step to protect their investment. Glad I could be an example of what not to do. Neat. (I'm still a little bitter) I can't wait until old age when I can sit on my porch in my rockin' chair with a salt gun peppering punks that step foot near my property. I can be 'Me Ol Man Morton, or The Crazy Old Bastard Down the Street. Ahhh! to dream!
I was thinking about what I might do with 340 Million, or whatever you end up with after the tax man comes trick or treating.
I think I would take my families money concerns away for good, set up a trust fund for Dylan, then go see the world. Shooting pictures the whole time.
Looks like I'm going to have to get to those dreams the hard way, by workin' for them. So I better get after it.
Although I love my job, I can think of other things to do with a cool 340 Million burning a hole in my pocket.
This does bring me to a more somber point. My company on Tuesday went through a large downsizing of employees from the administration side of the corporation, and we lost a lot of really good people. In a way I did hit the lottery in that I was not one of them. My hopes and prayers go out to all that did lose there jobs. The face of the economy is changing and I fear we haven't seen the end of such cutbacks, in fact I think this is the tip of the iceberg as they say.
On a lighter note, The neighborhood is finally starting to decorate for Halloween, so perhaps I can redo what I lost with the vandals without the punks noticing. Ther are some really cool decorations going up and I'm happy to say that they are secured with cables. Clearly these neighbors learned from my mistakes and went the extra step to protect their investment. Glad I could be an example of what not to do. Neat. (I'm still a little bitter) I can't wait until old age when I can sit on my porch in my rockin' chair with a salt gun peppering punks that step foot near my property. I can be 'Me Ol Man Morton, or The Crazy Old Bastard Down the Street. Ahhh! to dream!
I was thinking about what I might do with 340 Million, or whatever you end up with after the tax man comes trick or treating.
I think I would take my families money concerns away for good, set up a trust fund for Dylan, then go see the world. Shooting pictures the whole time.
Looks like I'm going to have to get to those dreams the hard way, by workin' for them. So I better get after it.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Honesty Sought, Innocence Lost.
It was a night that started like any other...
Dylan and I were home while Kim was at work. Everything was going great, Dinner was good. Dishes done and animals taken care of and medicated. Dylan was finishing an 80 page book that he just started 2 hours earlier. That’s right, 80 pages on his own! I was very proud of him and happy to see he chose a book over a video game. All the homework was done the night before so things were good. No school the next day so staying up a little later and waiting for mom not a big deal. We brush our teeth, floss and do a fluoride rinse and its off to bed to snuggle a bit before mom gets home to officially send him to the land of Nod. That’s when he drops a huge question on me, prefaced with the statement, “Now be really truthful with your answer” (I was scared, I new I was going to get blind sided the minute he said, “hey dad”) This is the moment Kim and I have discussed for a year now, the very question we had hoped to talk to him about before he had to ask, the question that we even went so far as to seek the advice of a professional on how to answer. The moment of truth and here I was alone (without Kim) All the things I thought I would say flashed before me as if on a Teleprompter that I couldn’t read.
The question...
and no, it wasn’t the Birds and the Bees talk, that was easy and happened a while ago. No this one was up to this point in his life, the mother of all questions...
Is Santa real? (it seems that a bunch of kids sold the Jolly Ol’ Fat Man down the river and ratted out us parents and he wanted the straight story)
Just like my kid to face the issue head-on unlike me who never really wanted to hear the answer. I was happy figuring it out and just playing along.
So I give him the truth and he quickly makes the leap from Santa to the Easter Bunny and then with tears in his eyes he looks at me, hoping against hope that he is going to hear the answer he wants, he asks if its us who give him the money for his tooth, or if there is really a tooth fairy. I thought of all the scenarios to keep this shred of innocence in tack, but in the end, I also wanted out from under the guilt of these little (yet giant) lies that every parent tells their children. Again, I gave him the truth and followed it with an explanation of how these traditions come about and how it may have to wait until he’s a father to understand them, but one day he will understand.
Thank God Kim walks into the house right about now and I explain what were talking about and she helps soften the blow by telling him that Santa, The Easter Bunny and Tooth fairy all exist, just not in the same way that he invisioned, yes it was indeed us, but there was a definite spirit of Christmas and Easter that the whole world shared and took part in and the world was a better place during this period of time every year, year after year and that to believe in the magic was to ensure that it carried on and this special time could be shared by future generations.
His feeling were still hurt and I think he feels the loss of that belief more than he let on, but in the end, I think in talking it out we all came away with a better understanding of what Santa actually is. It’s not one set a parents, its a whole group of people making up the millions of families that celebrate Christmas that keep the fires of the holiday spirit burning and alive and healthy. I came away feeling the whole thing was much less a lie and much an interactive legend that he can now help participate in, now he can be part of the club that keeps the magic alive by giving in the name of Santa as well as receiving. He in turn becomes the Santa that we all are.
You don’t have this sort of problem with Halloween, everyone can see pumpkins are real.
Well, at least the sons-a-bitches that vandalized my pumpkin headed scare crow can see they’re real. I had had my fill of these punks and was planning my revenge when the sneaking thought occurred to me in the way that life’s lessons often do (payback) that I had come full circle from my youth as the self described Undisputed Heavyweight World Champion Pumpkin Smasher (My best friends Rob and Davy sharing the crown of course). In my teens, I was a shrewd pumpkin hunter. That’s right, my filthy secret is out!
I still to this day am saddened by the fact that no hoodlums have smashed any of my pumpkins in recent years, I began to experience L.P.S.E. (low pumpkin self esteem) I even stooped so low as to smash my beautiful brides pumpkin with a well thrown rock from 50 feet out. It was a wonderful shot that the neighbor kid little Reggie took credit for all these years, Ok, I blamed him flat out although I suspect she knew all along that I was the culprit. I suspect this because, well, I think she actually saw me do it. Neither here nor there, the pumpkin was demolished and my crown stood.
However!
I never stole, or destroyed a decoration other than the pumpkin. I had respect for people’s property, sure I might re-arrange the skeleton and the scarecrow to amuse myself and friends, but I wouldn’t steal one and tear the face out of the other. How could I and feel good about myself? What’s clever or funny in that? I’ll tell you what.
Nothing!
That’s what.
I may have to come up with a plan to scare the bejesus out of these kids, one that will get them peddling as fast as they can, one that’s sure to have them shaking a turd out of the bottom of their pants, questioning my sanity and the wisdom of messing with my yard in the future, all this without inviting more problems involving eggs and toilet paper. I don’t know if such a plan exists, but I enjoy thinking of the possibilities and with today’s sue happy culture, I may have to let the junior terrorists win. They may win this battle, but I will win the war. (at least in my own head)
At any rate, this is a long winded apology to all those who’s pumpkins had the misfortune of crossing my destructive path.
Dylan and I were home while Kim was at work. Everything was going great, Dinner was good. Dishes done and animals taken care of and medicated. Dylan was finishing an 80 page book that he just started 2 hours earlier. That’s right, 80 pages on his own! I was very proud of him and happy to see he chose a book over a video game. All the homework was done the night before so things were good. No school the next day so staying up a little later and waiting for mom not a big deal. We brush our teeth, floss and do a fluoride rinse and its off to bed to snuggle a bit before mom gets home to officially send him to the land of Nod. That’s when he drops a huge question on me, prefaced with the statement, “Now be really truthful with your answer” (I was scared, I new I was going to get blind sided the minute he said, “hey dad”) This is the moment Kim and I have discussed for a year now, the very question we had hoped to talk to him about before he had to ask, the question that we even went so far as to seek the advice of a professional on how to answer. The moment of truth and here I was alone (without Kim) All the things I thought I would say flashed before me as if on a Teleprompter that I couldn’t read.
The question...
and no, it wasn’t the Birds and the Bees talk, that was easy and happened a while ago. No this one was up to this point in his life, the mother of all questions...
Is Santa real? (it seems that a bunch of kids sold the Jolly Ol’ Fat Man down the river and ratted out us parents and he wanted the straight story)
Just like my kid to face the issue head-on unlike me who never really wanted to hear the answer. I was happy figuring it out and just playing along.
So I give him the truth and he quickly makes the leap from Santa to the Easter Bunny and then with tears in his eyes he looks at me, hoping against hope that he is going to hear the answer he wants, he asks if its us who give him the money for his tooth, or if there is really a tooth fairy. I thought of all the scenarios to keep this shred of innocence in tack, but in the end, I also wanted out from under the guilt of these little (yet giant) lies that every parent tells their children. Again, I gave him the truth and followed it with an explanation of how these traditions come about and how it may have to wait until he’s a father to understand them, but one day he will understand.
Thank God Kim walks into the house right about now and I explain what were talking about and she helps soften the blow by telling him that Santa, The Easter Bunny and Tooth fairy all exist, just not in the same way that he invisioned, yes it was indeed us, but there was a definite spirit of Christmas and Easter that the whole world shared and took part in and the world was a better place during this period of time every year, year after year and that to believe in the magic was to ensure that it carried on and this special time could be shared by future generations.
His feeling were still hurt and I think he feels the loss of that belief more than he let on, but in the end, I think in talking it out we all came away with a better understanding of what Santa actually is. It’s not one set a parents, its a whole group of people making up the millions of families that celebrate Christmas that keep the fires of the holiday spirit burning and alive and healthy. I came away feeling the whole thing was much less a lie and much an interactive legend that he can now help participate in, now he can be part of the club that keeps the magic alive by giving in the name of Santa as well as receiving. He in turn becomes the Santa that we all are.
You don’t have this sort of problem with Halloween, everyone can see pumpkins are real.
Well, at least the sons-a-bitches that vandalized my pumpkin headed scare crow can see they’re real. I had had my fill of these punks and was planning my revenge when the sneaking thought occurred to me in the way that life’s lessons often do (payback) that I had come full circle from my youth as the self described Undisputed Heavyweight World Champion Pumpkin Smasher (My best friends Rob and Davy sharing the crown of course). In my teens, I was a shrewd pumpkin hunter. That’s right, my filthy secret is out!
I still to this day am saddened by the fact that no hoodlums have smashed any of my pumpkins in recent years, I began to experience L.P.S.E. (low pumpkin self esteem) I even stooped so low as to smash my beautiful brides pumpkin with a well thrown rock from 50 feet out. It was a wonderful shot that the neighbor kid little Reggie took credit for all these years, Ok, I blamed him flat out although I suspect she knew all along that I was the culprit. I suspect this because, well, I think she actually saw me do it. Neither here nor there, the pumpkin was demolished and my crown stood.
However!
I never stole, or destroyed a decoration other than the pumpkin. I had respect for people’s property, sure I might re-arrange the skeleton and the scarecrow to amuse myself and friends, but I wouldn’t steal one and tear the face out of the other. How could I and feel good about myself? What’s clever or funny in that? I’ll tell you what.
Nothing!
That’s what.
I may have to come up with a plan to scare the bejesus out of these kids, one that will get them peddling as fast as they can, one that’s sure to have them shaking a turd out of the bottom of their pants, questioning my sanity and the wisdom of messing with my yard in the future, all this without inviting more problems involving eggs and toilet paper. I don’t know if such a plan exists, but I enjoy thinking of the possibilities and with today’s sue happy culture, I may have to let the junior terrorists win. They may win this battle, but I will win the war. (at least in my own head)
At any rate, this is a long winded apology to all those who’s pumpkins had the misfortune of crossing my destructive path.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Introducing Hunter/Stinker (we can't decide)
This is our latest addition to the Morton Times Staff. He comes to us from parts unknown but appeared wet, soggy and a little hungry in my driveway. After what seemed like an endless bowl of cat food, he decided this was going to be his new stomping grounds. (wise choice considering the man of the house is a giant sucker, ME!) Thats right, this one is all mine. He had me at meow. We got him shots and kept our eyes out for missing cat posters with his mug on them, when nothing turned up, we fixed him and introduced him to the rest of the farm. They all get along now, uh ok, that might be a stretch, but they all put up with one another just fine. He loves nothing more than to hunt the other cats, even Simon who dwarfs him. Simon will put up with it for awhile, but when he's had his fill, Stinker gets both barrels of Simon. Its fun to watch. The only thing he likes more than picking on the other cats, is mugging for the camera, he LOVES IT! as you can see.
Upon seeing Stinker grab the spotlight, Sammy had to get in on the action. He knows theres not a camera made that doesn't love him and he's always the first volunteer for a photo op. What a ham!
Upon seeing Stinker grab the spotlight, Sammy had to get in on the action. He knows theres not a camera made that doesn't love him and he's always the first volunteer for a photo op. What a ham!
Tae Kwon Do Champion Collects Gold & Bronze
This weekend brought a flurry of fists, board breaks and back kicks as the Tae Kwon Do tournament rolled through Monroe. It was a fun filled day of watching kids through adults test there mettle against each other and themselves as they demonstrate their ability to kick the crap out of one another. It was Dylan’s first tournament and he did very well as evidenced by his collection of medals. First was his gold metal, earning him the coveted title of champion of his division. The event: board breaking. While the other kids chose to break their board with a side kick, or a back kick, my kid goes for the “flying” sidekick. Which is pretty tough. He has to run and jump over a kid (the flying part) while in classic flying kick formation, then break the board and land in a pose ready for more action. He is judged on not only his ability to break the board, but also his form and landing. This complicated kick has a difficulty degree of +2 which means you multiply the judges points by 2, This put him light years above his competition, even though it took 2 tries to break the board. I was very proud of not only his accomplishment, but the guts it took to pick such a tough kick in front of a gymnasium full of people.
From there, we join our young champion in the sparring ring. It’s his first time sparring outside the classroom and I had my reservations, but he wanted to do it and Master Martin felt he was ready. I think I was more concerned for the other kids safety as this was also the first time Kim watched him spar. I had visions of her running into the ring and pummeling the other kid for kicking her son. She did good too though. If they handed out medals for most restrained parent, we would have two champions in the house. As the saying goes, nothings easy right? Well Dylan ends up in the wrong weight class when they split the division. So now he gets to spar kids much bigger than him. I missed the first match, but he seemed to come through it ok. Lost by a point but not too beat up. The next match I watched from ringside and it was way tough to watch. This kid was pounding him. but then Dylan gets in a back kick that not only scores him a point, it takes the wind right out of the kids sails. Dylan gets kicked in the chin and the groin, but hangs in there and keeps kicking and punching. He’s upset and hurt but keeps managing to score on the kid. They end up 4/3 other kid. Dylan is pretty upset and didn’t enjoy being kicked in the face or groin, but I’m giving him a hug and telling him how proud I am of him. We get him out of his pads only to be called right back up for another match.
The opposing kid is a good foot taller and doesn’t seem too concerned with our little hero. So I tell myself this is what the tournament is about and I flash back to my wrestling days and how much I hated the tournaments and being bent into a pretzel by bigger stronger more knowledgeable kids.
They get to sparring and Dylan is holding his own and then some. The kid scores and Dylan comes right back and evens it, this goes on for awhile and in the last few seconds, Dylan hammers him with a spinning back kick and takes the match and the kids unbeaten streak and heads to the podium to collect his bronze metal. I was very impressed.
From there, we join our young champion in the sparring ring. It’s his first time sparring outside the classroom and I had my reservations, but he wanted to do it and Master Martin felt he was ready. I think I was more concerned for the other kids safety as this was also the first time Kim watched him spar. I had visions of her running into the ring and pummeling the other kid for kicking her son. She did good too though. If they handed out medals for most restrained parent, we would have two champions in the house. As the saying goes, nothings easy right? Well Dylan ends up in the wrong weight class when they split the division. So now he gets to spar kids much bigger than him. I missed the first match, but he seemed to come through it ok. Lost by a point but not too beat up. The next match I watched from ringside and it was way tough to watch. This kid was pounding him. but then Dylan gets in a back kick that not only scores him a point, it takes the wind right out of the kids sails. Dylan gets kicked in the chin and the groin, but hangs in there and keeps kicking and punching. He’s upset and hurt but keeps managing to score on the kid. They end up 4/3 other kid. Dylan is pretty upset and didn’t enjoy being kicked in the face or groin, but I’m giving him a hug and telling him how proud I am of him. We get him out of his pads only to be called right back up for another match.
The opposing kid is a good foot taller and doesn’t seem too concerned with our little hero. So I tell myself this is what the tournament is about and I flash back to my wrestling days and how much I hated the tournaments and being bent into a pretzel by bigger stronger more knowledgeable kids.
They get to sparring and Dylan is holding his own and then some. The kid scores and Dylan comes right back and evens it, this goes on for awhile and in the last few seconds, Dylan hammers him with a spinning back kick and takes the match and the kids unbeaten streak and heads to the podium to collect his bronze metal. I was very impressed.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Former Eugene Man Celebrates Birthday With Mom!
Former Eugene resident Shane sailed into another year aboard the SS Happy Birthday! On board was Karen Hesselberg. Happy birthday to you both! Doesn't get an cheesier than this, but if it does, Wisconsin's the state to be in! (I really should write for the Inquirer or someting)
Karmic Curse Befalls Eugene Thief!
Thief is the pc term used for the bastard that stole my hanging skeleton Halloween decoration. Believe you me, the language was a little saltier when I discovered the crime. Stealing holiday decorations, as anyone knows is a first class ticket on the bad karma expressway, and if that alone were not enough, I put a pre-emptive curse on anyone that dare steal it as it was very cool and hard for punks to resist. The rope for instance was an old sisal barn rope with an authentic hangman's noose with the classic 7 coils that give it it's distinctive look. The other end was not just a loose, uncared for unraveling mess either, no, it was a work of beauty. Finished with a crown knot and lovingly backbraided into itself then secured with a sailmakers whipping. All of which is now hanging in some punks room no doubt. Being forced to listen to god awful skater punk music while he hangs with an unlit cigarrette in his mouth. Well one thing they can't steal is the good time Dylan and I had hanging him. Dylan on the fence animating him for the passing cars. Me tying a rock to the end and throwing it over the high branch, trying not to hit Dylan on the noggen on the way down and knocking him off said fence. No, they can't take that away and it was a good day! October 1st. The first day of the Halloween season, we were on it! We had the yard decorated before noon. Light years before the neighbors even thought of dusting off their Halloween decorations. Ok, its a little awkward being the only house on the street with decorations out, but this is my month! I wont let this bog me down, I'll distribute the above flyer via the telephone poles on our street. It will not only warn the perp of the curse, but give dog walkers something else to look at instead of the Missing Cat poster that has currently hogged the telephone pole messaging system for the past 3 months. If I don't get it back, I pity the poor soul who swiped him for the curse is one of great horror, the likes of which will not be forgotten anytime soon. For its a curse of small annoyances. Thats right, i.e, a tiny rock under the front wheel of the downhill bound skateboard, or the unanswered prayers of there being an extra roll of toilet paper behind the closed cabinet door, you get the idea.
I'll keep you all updated.
I'll keep you all updated.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Eugene Man Baffled by Passage of Time!
Wow, has it really been 4 months since my last post? That is unacceptable and lame. My apologies to whoever might be reading this. Since my last post, a lot has happened, this biggest thing being summer.
With summer of course comes vacations and camping trips and plenty of time spent swinging in the hammock dreaming, literally. I start off with grand delusions of hours reading in my hammock, only to wake up 20 minutes later at the urging of Mrs. Morton Times to mow the lawn.
This years vacation was spent along the Oregon coast in a rented beach house with the family. It was time well spent. Jim and Karen Hesselberg, Shane, Des and Brett Hesselberg were all there. We ate good food and saw a lot of neat places. Near the end, we got to watch a Lincoln Town car commercial being made. Helicopters, film crew and long traffic lines, the works. It was neat to see. Kim started a new job working for another engineering firm downtown. Still doing the books on the side for Obsidian Technologies. We started exploring the Columbia River Gorge in all its glory, on both the Oregon and Washington sides. What a beautiful chunk of America.
On a sad note, Hondo. One or our beloved dogs passed away. She lived a good and full life and is missed terribly, when I go, I can only hope for the same. Coyote isn’t doing great either but she still hangs in there and gets excited about the morning walk every morning. Speaking of which, Jazzy loves the walk. She gets to go on two. One with Kim, and Coyote, then with me for an extended walk through and around the neighborhood. We have recently altered our route in favor of the Sheldon High school campus. For one, no cars. Two, lots of other dogs for her to sniff out and three and no doubt best of all, she can go off leash in the fenced area and chase the seagulls. She better hope she never has to rely on catching them to survive because she doesn’t even come close! Not even to the fat ones that feed on the McDonalds garbage left by the high school kids. From here out, they will be referred to as McSeagulls. If she ever did catch one, I believe she’ll know what to do with it. She loves her some chicken and I’m betting that’s exactly what one of those feathery french fry mongers taste like. Although Jazzy likes her chicken cooked. I imagine biting into a live one is like biting into that gum that explodes juice in your mouth. Disgusting at first, yet delicious at the same time. I’ll keep you all posted on the McSeagull population and if Jazzy can put a dent in it.
Sorry for the lack of activity lately. See you all in another 4 months! (I jokes)
With summer of course comes vacations and camping trips and plenty of time spent swinging in the hammock dreaming, literally. I start off with grand delusions of hours reading in my hammock, only to wake up 20 minutes later at the urging of Mrs. Morton Times to mow the lawn.
This years vacation was spent along the Oregon coast in a rented beach house with the family. It was time well spent. Jim and Karen Hesselberg, Shane, Des and Brett Hesselberg were all there. We ate good food and saw a lot of neat places. Near the end, we got to watch a Lincoln Town car commercial being made. Helicopters, film crew and long traffic lines, the works. It was neat to see. Kim started a new job working for another engineering firm downtown. Still doing the books on the side for Obsidian Technologies. We started exploring the Columbia River Gorge in all its glory, on both the Oregon and Washington sides. What a beautiful chunk of America.
On a sad note, Hondo. One or our beloved dogs passed away. She lived a good and full life and is missed terribly, when I go, I can only hope for the same. Coyote isn’t doing great either but she still hangs in there and gets excited about the morning walk every morning. Speaking of which, Jazzy loves the walk. She gets to go on two. One with Kim, and Coyote, then with me for an extended walk through and around the neighborhood. We have recently altered our route in favor of the Sheldon High school campus. For one, no cars. Two, lots of other dogs for her to sniff out and three and no doubt best of all, she can go off leash in the fenced area and chase the seagulls. She better hope she never has to rely on catching them to survive because she doesn’t even come close! Not even to the fat ones that feed on the McDonalds garbage left by the high school kids. From here out, they will be referred to as McSeagulls. If she ever did catch one, I believe she’ll know what to do with it. She loves her some chicken and I’m betting that’s exactly what one of those feathery french fry mongers taste like. Although Jazzy likes her chicken cooked. I imagine biting into a live one is like biting into that gum that explodes juice in your mouth. Disgusting at first, yet delicious at the same time. I’ll keep you all posted on the McSeagull population and if Jazzy can put a dent in it.
Sorry for the lack of activity lately. See you all in another 4 months! (I jokes)
Friday, June 24, 2005
Scrapbookers...Gather Around.
I have been involved in the past couple years with the promotion of a great invention for scrap booking. Well it started out as a great invention for designers, photographers and those in the graphics industry, but once scrap bookers got a hold of it, its really taken off and evolved into a more economical version of itself. Its a score board. You can view them at www.scorit.com, or even better, (my new pics) at www.scorit.blogspot.com. If anyone wants to borrow mine for a test drive, let me know. It really is amazing for anyone who is needing to fold or perf paper perfectly.
Adjusting To Post Baseball Season Not Easy For Eugene Family.
It's true that while we were happy to have our nights and weekends back, we also noticed a huge hole in our social schedule left by the lack of games and practices. I find myself missing our new friends, the sun and often rain and cold, and especially fighting with the pitching machine, a near constant epic battle to get a consitent good pitch out of the thing. We are enjoying the nights and weekends though. Its time to move on and get back on track. We will soon be taking our family vaction and entertaining a house full of relatives. I'm one of the lucky ones, I really and truly enjoy my inlaws. I also welcome the distraction, it lets me sneak away and do some much needed photography. I hope to post some pics soon of the images I trust are waiting for my lens. I'll keep you updated.
Speaking of updates, Kim has been updating our photo albums and since she is the one with the forethought to bring a little camera everywhere and snap family pics, she is the unsung hero documenting our families growth. I was taken back to a lot of great memories and feelings looking at all the pictures from just a few years ago, how fast Dylan is growing and how we have all changed, good times had with the promise for more to come. So much would be lost without her dedication. Have a great summer 4th of July everyone!
Speaking of updates, Kim has been updating our photo albums and since she is the one with the forethought to bring a little camera everywhere and snap family pics, she is the unsung hero documenting our families growth. I was taken back to a lot of great memories and feelings looking at all the pictures from just a few years ago, how fast Dylan is growing and how we have all changed, good times had with the promise for more to come. So much would be lost without her dedication. Have a great summer 4th of July everyone!
Monday, June 13, 2005
TEAMPHOTOFLYER.indd
TEAMPHOTOFLYER.indd
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
If anyone missed the flyer or wanted more prints including any action. Call me 221-2756, or email me at: colin@stonecrow.net.
Thats a Wrap!
The season ended this weekend. We did well in the playoffs, won 2 lost 2. Our wins came back to back on Saturday with a wonderful team picnic in between. Both of Saturday's games were come from behind wins, and boy were they loaded with emotion! We continued that pace into Sunday's game against Willamette and were looking like we were going to move on to the semi-finals when they hit an uncatchable grandslam that put them up by one point and elevated their spirits 10 fold. They never looked back and and ended up winning the game. They played well. Our boys bounced back quick. Two minutes after the game, they were trading cards, playing whiffleball and having a great time just playing and being kids. Summer felt like it had officially arrived and brought with it a side order of sunburn for Kim and I. Ouch. this morning was and still is painful.
I wanted to thank Mark and Ron and Bob again for all their hard work and patience. As Ron pointed out on Saturday, instead of coaches we ended up with 3 dads. Well Ron, I'll take that any day. You guys have been great and my son has come an awful long way in a short period of time and I thank you guys for it.
I also wanted to say how much both Kim and I enjoyed meeting and becoming friends with all the other parents and grandparents that came out for every game. And now I feel I can consider myself one of the thousands that Dort already knows. We look forward to seeing you all in the years to come.
I wanted to thank Mark and Ron and Bob again for all their hard work and patience. As Ron pointed out on Saturday, instead of coaches we ended up with 3 dads. Well Ron, I'll take that any day. You guys have been great and my son has come an awful long way in a short period of time and I thank you guys for it.
I also wanted to say how much both Kim and I enjoyed meeting and becoming friends with all the other parents and grandparents that came out for every game. And now I feel I can consider myself one of the thousands that Dort already knows. We look forward to seeing you all in the years to come.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Willamette Falls To Irish.
If there was one game that I personally wanted the boys to win more than any other, it was last night against the infamous Willamette. I think we all know it has nothing to do with the Willamette players as they are a good bunch of kids like ours, but it is about giving the obnoxious team of coaches a little payback for all the frustation they have caused. Never have I seen a poorer example of coaching than I witnessed this season with that team.
...but enough about me.
Our boys rose to the occasion big time and they brought their sticks with them. Everyone was hitting and running well, Stealing and keeping an eye on the ball waiting for the errant overthrow to advance. Their fielding was even better. Sure we had a couple of errors, but a lot of hussle and good throws made up for it. Three up three down. I can really see the hours of practice starting to stick. It was a great game. Good job guys! and good job Mark, Bob and Ron for teaching these guys the fundamentals for not only good play, but good sportsmanship, it showed last night and made our boys look even better.
...but enough about me.
Our boys rose to the occasion big time and they brought their sticks with them. Everyone was hitting and running well, Stealing and keeping an eye on the ball waiting for the errant overthrow to advance. Their fielding was even better. Sure we had a couple of errors, but a lot of hussle and good throws made up for it. Three up three down. I can really see the hours of practice starting to stick. It was a great game. Good job guys! and good job Mark, Bob and Ron for teaching these guys the fundamentals for not only good play, but good sportsmanship, it showed last night and made our boys look even better.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Weekend Games
This weekend the boys provided entertainment on both Saturday and Sunday. Saturday's game against Thurston Was good, we had them up until the last inning when they rallied back for the win. It was a beautiful day seemingly designed with baseball in mind. Sunday there was a cold wind and constant threat of rain, but the boys were hot! Hitting well, stealing like crazy and making the key plays in the field to really limit the effectivness of the Junction City offense. I didn't get the final score, but last I checked it was 15-2, or something close. We wrap up the season tomorrow, (Tuesday) and then get our schedule for the playoffs at the end of the week. Its been a great season and a lot of fun. Good job guys!
On a side note, Team pictures turned out great as well as the individual shots. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to get them to you.
On a side note, Team pictures turned out great as well as the individual shots. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to get them to you.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Newest Hesselberg Is Welcomed Into The World!
6/4/2005, 9:00 p.m, sharp, Brett Issac Hesselberg is Born, less than 24 hrs later, he's made his first internet splash. Kid is quick. Anyway, here are a few pics of the happy little guy and the proud parents. They did good, He's a beautiful kid.
Friday, June 03, 2005
North Eugene By One.
This was a game full of drama that touched everybody out there in one way or another. Strange calls, friction amongst coaches and basic rules not followed.
And yet from my perspective as pitcher, the boys still had a good time. I told Dylan after the team meeting, that this is all about having fun, its a game that we're fortunate to be able to play. A chance to learn some important life lessons about winning and losing and some strategy along the way, nothing more. For the parents, its a chance to be involved in their quickly growing and changing lives.
We lost the game by one point, 12-11 but Dylan felt he played well which isn't always the case, I was happy to hear that. These guys put so much pressure on themselves to do well and win. 90% of the time they exceed what I think any of them are capable of.
We go into the final stretch of our season Saturday and Sunday with the regular season ending with Tuesday's game, then playoffs starting Thursday, Friday and into Saturday.
We'll finish strong, whether we win another game or not. I think we accomplished what we set out to which was to make better ball players out of these guys and they are. They have all come a long way in their own way and I'm proud of each one.
And yet from my perspective as pitcher, the boys still had a good time. I told Dylan after the team meeting, that this is all about having fun, its a game that we're fortunate to be able to play. A chance to learn some important life lessons about winning and losing and some strategy along the way, nothing more. For the parents, its a chance to be involved in their quickly growing and changing lives.
We lost the game by one point, 12-11 but Dylan felt he played well which isn't always the case, I was happy to hear that. These guys put so much pressure on themselves to do well and win. 90% of the time they exceed what I think any of them are capable of.
We go into the final stretch of our season Saturday and Sunday with the regular season ending with Tuesday's game, then playoffs starting Thursday, Friday and into Saturday.
We'll finish strong, whether we win another game or not. I think we accomplished what we set out to which was to make better ball players out of these guys and they are. They have all come a long way in their own way and I'm proud of each one.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Irish Together Again
Many of the guys on both teams are close friends and have been team mates before, so its always a pleasure to play our Green Brothers. And the boys enjoy it as well as evidenced by the group photo of them being goofy. Pat came up with the idea to shoot a photo of the two teams combined, and a great idea it was. Although the web doesn't do the actual photo justice, its sharp and everyone is clear. If there are any of you who want a hi res version, email me, colin@stonecrow.net and I'll get you one.
We had some better hitting despite the crazy pitching machine/pitcher. The boys are seeing the ball and making good decisions on what to swing at. We came up a little short this game, but I can tell the practices are paying off. Again, thanks to the coaching staff, you guys are doing a great job.
We had some better hitting despite the crazy pitching machine/pitcher. The boys are seeing the ball and making good decisions on what to swing at. We came up a little short this game, but I can tell the practices are paying off. Again, thanks to the coaching staff, you guys are doing a great job.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Weekend Games Offer Peaks and Valleys
The skys never actually parted for our beautiful weather on Saturday, so the Irish had to make some sunshine of there own and they did it with a solid game against the boys from Pleasant Hill. As usual, Pleasant Hill lived up to their name, from the coachs down to each player, these guys are a pleasure to play against. 10-1 final (Irish)
Sunday, the sun was out but the Irish had a dark cloud above them. I like to call this cloud, the "As Yet Unbeaten Springfield". Again, we made them earn it. Seems like every game against these guys we get closer and closer to beating them. They started strong, and...well, they ended strong too but we got our runs in and had a good game. I have to hand it to Springfield, these guys are very well rounded and played a great game. 13-3 final (Springfield).
Sunday, the sun was out but the Irish had a dark cloud above them. I like to call this cloud, the "As Yet Unbeaten Springfield". Again, we made them earn it. Seems like every game against these guys we get closer and closer to beating them. They started strong, and...well, they ended strong too but we got our runs in and had a good game. I have to hand it to Springfield, these guys are very well rounded and played a great game. 13-3 final (Springfield).
Friday, May 20, 2005
Churchill Steals The Irish's Thunder
It was a slow start that put us behind from the get go, had we come out with the intensity we ended with, the score might have been reversed. The boys still had a good time and they started hitting really well. At the same time, Churchill ramped up their defense to match. Their 2nd basemen clearly robbed David of an easy base hit, snagging a hard line drive that could've potentially lead to a double. I have to give it to Churchill, they made a nasty habit of hitting into the gap coupled with good throws and solid plays. Dylan ended his batting slump and got on twice, once all the way home. He also got a little infield action as pitcher, I think asking Coach Mark every inning, everygame has paid off for him. (poor Mark) Our #7 can be relentless. He did well, and is learning all about his responsibilities as pitcher. In right field, He had a good stop and even better throw to first to get a runner out. All the boys had their moments, Terrance gave us another scare as catcher, but shook it off and with an all new appreciation for the "cup" was right back in it. 10-7 final.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Irish Blue Lock Horns With South Eugene!
Another great game! Played out in chilly circumstances. Threat of rain and a near constant wind remind us that spring weather can be as unpredictable as the game itself. This game was but another example of how far our boys have come as ball players. They were very strong defensively allowing only 6 runs at the end of regular play, with a well earned 6 runs of their own, the boys took the game to extra innings once again. Offensively we came out a little flat and ended up back on the field to defend our chance for another at bat. It wasn’t meant to be however, before we knew it, South put another 3 runs on the board and a W in their column.
��We've come up against some tough teams and with the runs being dead even in the last three games, I think we can come away knowing that we played our best and learned even more, which of course is the whole reason we're out there. It's sometimes easy for me to forget how young these guys are by watching how well they play. When I put that in perspective, I'm amazed every game. Good job boys! We'll get 'em next time.
��We've come up against some tough teams and with the runs being dead even in the last three games, I think we can come away knowing that we played our best and learned even more, which of course is the whole reason we're out there. It's sometimes easy for me to forget how young these guys are by watching how well they play. When I put that in perspective, I'm amazed every game. Good job boys! We'll get 'em next time.
TYLER_0011
TYLER_0011
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
Tyler grabbing a lightining bolt to stop the runner at first.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Irish Go Extra Innings (again)
Another hard fought well played game! This one mirrored the Junction City game right down to the final score. 12-11, the only difference was we held them off an additional 2 innings. Emotions ran very high on both sides of the bench. It can be very difficult as a coach(s) to keep your cool in a game driven by so many great plays as well as questionable calls by a lacking ump, our coaches and player rose to the occasion as usual, keeping in perspective who we're all out there for in the first place. I can't say the same for the other teams coaches however and it makes for bad feelings at the end of what was a really good game. Meanwhile, we put this one behind us and move on to another game Sunday at 12:00.
Welcome back Terrance!
Welcome back Terrance!
JACKSON_0005
JACKSON_0005
Originally uploaded by cmort04.
Jackson in perfect form. This picture is a little decieving, the ball was movin'!
Friday, May 13, 2005
Shootout In Junction City
Wow! What a game! This had to be one of the most exciting games I've seen. We jumped out to a substantial lead early on and it looked like smooth sailing, we we're hitting really well, cycling through the line-up and making some great plays. Once Junction City got warmed up, it was clear that we had a battle on our hands. They too started hitting well into the gap and we suffered a couple tough innings. With our heads up and emotions high, we evened out at 10-10 in the 6th, forcing an extra inning. It was a short at bat for the Irish with a quick 3 up 3 down. We took the field with the hopes of doing the same, but they managed to hit around us again. With guys on 2nd and 3rd our chances looked grim, but the boys kept their edge and played some of the best defensive ball I've seen them play. Batter grounds out to 2nd who narrowly throws him out at first, while the runner on third breaks for home only to be thrown out during a heroic slide. Nice! Sheldon survives to bat again. Another quick at bat with little damage to Junction City's momentum and we're back out on the field where the game finally comes to an end 12-11 Junction City.
On a side note, one of our catchers and star bunters Terrance was injured during the Colts game. Unbeknownst to the rest of us, he had been hit by a flying bat and suffered a shoulder injury that might keep him out for awhile. We wish you well Terrance.
On a side note, one of our catchers and star bunters Terrance was injured during the Colts game. Unbeknownst to the rest of us, he had been hit by a flying bat and suffered a shoulder injury that might keep him out for awhile. We wish you well Terrance.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
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